#outofthepenaltybox – Page 2

How to Halloween in Louisiana

Posted on October 18, 2023September 21, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

Some places are the perfect destination for Halloween. Louisiana is one such location to get your spook on.

The Walking Dead has nothing on New Orleans. On October 21, 2023, prepare to run for your life in the New Orleans Zombie Run. Yes, you read that correctly. At 9:00 AM, the streets will fill with zombies for a two-mile race through the Warehouse District. Participants dress up like zombies and are chased by the Big Easy Roller Derby who are the official Zombie exterminators. For registration information, visit the link.
The Krewe of Boo Parade is an annual celebration that takes place in the French Quarter in New Orleans. Like Mardi Gras, this parade consists of ornate floats and celebrants decked in extravagant costumes. The parade route will begin at Elysian Fields in the Marigny District (i.e., Frenchmen Street and Washington Square area) and continue to North Peters Street, Decatur Street, Jackson Square, the Warehouse District, and ending around the Convention Center. The route is lined with jazz clubs, bohemian bars, bistros, and street entertainers to keep visitors occupied while waiting for the parade to begin. The Krewe of Boo parade will happen on Saturday, October 21, 2023.
But maybe running isn’t your thing. Perhaps you prefer to sleep among ghosts, goblins, ghouls, and other spirits and witness paranormal activity. The Hotel Monteleone has you covered. Book a stay at this haunted hotel and request a room on the thirteenth floor to encounter some of the permanent free-loading (and free-floating) guests.
If the Hotel Monteleone is too real for you or you don’t fancy spending the night with supernatural houseguests, try visiting one of the haunted houses. The Mortuary is located on Canal Street, and, big shocker, it really is a mortuary. Well, it used to be, at least. For approximately eighty years, it was. So, it’s not a stretch to think that some “guests” may still be lingering around. It’s not like they are dying to get out. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.) In any case, The Mortuary is a resplendent mansion that was constructed in 1872 and is one of the niftiest haunted houses to tour.
Another option for a haunted house is the New Orleans Nightmare located at 319 Butterworth Street in Jefferson is described as an “intense haunted experience” and includes a completely dark maze that visitors will need to depend on their senses (i.e., auditory, olfactory, and tactile) to navigate their path through physical challenges. There is also a fully interactive escape room and three main attraction events (Midnight Mortuary Blood Ritual, Repossessed, and The Deadlines. Don’t worry. There’s also a bar for visitors to grab a drink to calm their nerves. Granted, it’s also horror-themed. The New Orleans Nightmare is a must-see/must-do experience. However, this haunted house does come with a warning that its experience may not be suitable for children twelve and under.
Speaking of escape rooms, if you would like to experience one but aren’t in the New Orleans area or can’t get tickets, visit the 13^th Gate in Baton Rouge (832 Saint Philip Street in the old Steinberg’s Sporting Goods building). This attraction also comes with a disclaimer that it may not be suitable for children twelve and under and also adds that it may be questionable for those with a weak bladder. Interpret that how you will.
Who can talk about Halloween and New Orleans without mentioning the cemeteries? Perhaps the most famous cemetery in the world is the Saint Louis Cemetery Number 1. It is one of the oldest cemeteries (officially consecrated in 1789) in The Big Easy and is the resting place to Barthelemy Lafon (pirate), Madame Delphine LaLaurie (serial killer), Marie Laveau (voodoo queen), and Nicolas Cage. No, that wasn’t a typo, and yes, Nicolas Cage is very much alive and healthy. However, the actor preemptively commissioned his tomb in this cemetery.
Sticking with a similar theme is the Creole Death and Mourning Tours. This one-hour tour is a time-limited exhibition, running from September 20th through November 13^th. It highlights the mourning rituals of 19th-century Catholic Creoles residing in New Orleans. The tour is hosted at the Gallier House (1132 Royal St), a Victorian townhouse and former slave quarters, built in 1860 by architect James Gallier that now serves as a museum.
For lighthearted but amazing seasonal décor sightseeing visit the Buckner Mansion, Ghost Manor, The Kraken House, and/or The Skeleton House. Many people are likely familiar with the image of Buckner Mansion but not the name. That is because Buckner Mansion has been featured in both American Horror Story on FX and in Disney’s Haunted Mansion. It is located at 1410 Jackson Avenue. Next on the list is Ghost Manor located at 2502 Magazine Street. Ghost Manor is known for its specular electronic light show that is synced to spooky music. On 6574 Memphis Street, visitors will find a house that looks as if it’s been dragged out of the sea. The Kraken House’s legendary feature is its large-scale tentacles. Finally, the Skeleton House at 6000 St. Charles Avenue is as the name suggests, decorated with skeletons (not real ones, of course) in all manners of dress… and well, it’s easier to see than to explain. And while in the neighborhood, why not stroll down the rest of Saint Charles Avenue and check out all the other incredibly stunning decorations?
If you fancy a bit of music and dance, head over to the New Orleans Vampire Ball: Temple of The Dark Goddess at the House of Blues on Decatur on October 28. Doors open at 9:00 PM CST.
Or experience The Rocky Horror Picture Show at The Mahalia Jackson Theater or relax listening to Candlelight: A Haunted Evening of Halloween Classics at the Sazerac House. And let’s not forget Get Out being performed by the Louisiana Philharmonic Orchestra.
Thanksgiving and Christmas are the holidays most frequently associated with giving and charity. However, the Halloween New Orleans (HNO) is an annual extravaganza in acknowledgment of the LGBTQIA+ community and is hosted by Project Lazarus. Over its 39 years in existence, the HNO has raised over five million dollars for the HIV/AIDS cause. The HNO’s parties are iconic.
This next comes with a seriously strong warning. It is only for mature audiences and may be triggering. I’m talking about The Museums of Death. It doesn’t get more real, graphic, and grave than this. If you’re easily triggered, I suggest skipping reading this description. This is why I have reserved to list it last. It’s a lot. Displays in the museum may include artwork created by serial killers, body bags, caskets/coffins, coroners’ and mortician’s tools, crime scene photographs, documents and depictions of various forms of execution and torture, images and depictions of suicide, a history of cannibalism, memorabilia from Charles Manson and the Manson Family, photographs of deceased individuals (including some of young children) prior to their burial, preserved and/or mummified human remains, and skulls. Cell phones and mobile devices are not allowed to be used inside the museum, and no photographing of the displays is prohibited.

That’s all I got. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or X (formerly tweet) me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search for me on Goodreads, Amazon Authors, BookBub, Bluesky, Threads, or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and sign up today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the Bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

How to Transform Into the Best Version of Yourself

Posted on October 11, 2023September 19, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

Most people have something about themselves that they would like to explain. In 2020, when the world fell apart, many people had time to think and re-evaluate their lives. The pandemic highlighted the best and worst in people. As the world slowly has begun to return to “normal,” some are finding the readjustment difficult because they “have seen the light” (sort of speak) during this time of reflection and introspection. Some people have concluded that they both want more and deserve more. But the “more” isn’t always tangible. Sometimes the more is wanting self-improvement—becoming healthier, paying closer attention to their physical appearance, and planning for the future. The path to achieving the desired change(s) is individualized and personal. There is no designated script to accomplish this. However, there are certain steps that will almost always be involved in any transformation.

Identify why you want to make changes in yourself. Is it for you or someone else? If it’s for someone else, there likely will be issues because you need to want it for yourself. People who attempt to change for others generally 1.) fail, 2.) become unhappy with the change, and/or 3.) revert to his/her previous self.

Consider a person with a substance abuse problem who agrees to go to a rehabilitation program at the urging of loved ones. The person abusing substances may realize that his/her behavior is hurtful to others. And the person truly may not wish to hurt others. However, unless the person truly desires change within himself/herself, the chances of that person remaining sober are significantly decreased.

Another important question to ask is what is expected to be achieved by this change. What aspects of your life will improve or be affected by this change? What are the benefits of making this change? Are there any negatives? How will this change affect others in your life and your future goals? What will be gained by making this change?

Identify what characteristic(s) you want to change. A person cannot begin to change if he/she doesn’t know what he/she is attempting to change. A person cannot participate in a race if he/she doesn’t know where the starting line is located. Make a list of these characteristic(s). Seeing things in writing sometimes makes them seem more real and causes people to feel more accountable to complete them, or, at least, actively work toward reaching them.
Identify the root of why the characteristic(s) you seek to change came to be. This allows one to identify how to begin the change process. For example, if someone wants to lose weight but hasn’t been successful in the past despite exercising daily and making healthy eating choices, perhaps there is a medical condition or medication that is the culprit. Understanding the root allows a person to develop an accurate plan. Otherwise, the person may be unsuccessful not due to a genuine effort not being made but, rather, due to an ineffective methodology.
Identify a clear destination. Where do you want this change to go? What is the objective? What is the ultimate goal/target? Just like it is important to know the starting line, it is equally important to know where the finish line is located. Where do you want to go? If one doesn’t know his/her destination, he/she is bound to find himself/herself aimlessly wandering in no-man’s-land. It will be a journey of limbo.
Be intentional. This step involves definitions—setting boundaries and perimeters. What are the rules? What are the priorities? What does one value? What is one willing and not willing to do to accomplish this change? What are the non-negotiables? What is one’s standards?
Following being intentional, this is where forming a plan falls. This is the route that will be taken to get from the start to the finish. Operantly define each goal. Be specific. Instead of having a generic goal to exercise, a specific goal may be to swim fifteen laps each day before work. in less than twenty minutes at the YMCA pool to lose two pounds a week. The objective is clear here with the what, when, where, why, and how.
Set a routine. This is the second part of the previous point. Consciously deciding on a routine creates habits, and habits become second nature to goals. For example, I was always losing my keys and had to spend sometimes hours looking for them because I would randomly set them down without mentally noting where. Even when I would attempt to retrace my steps, I would have forgotten all of my movements. One night, my child began to choke, and I couldn’t find my car keys to take her to the ER. Fortunately, I was trained in CPR and the Heimlich maneuver. It (along with other techniques I used) worked to dislodge the object she had choked on. From that day, I swore to never lose my keys again. I began a routine of placing my keys in a dish by the door the second I entered. Initially, I had to think to do it. Now, it’s automatic. And on occasions that I forget, my muscle memory triggers when I place them elsewhere. Changing characteristic(s) in oneself is no different. It requires mindful awareness, and routines can set this in motion.
Create a vision board. This relates to point number four: to visualize what one wants to achieve. A vision board can serve as both a reminder and a motivation. There are many ways to create vision boards, and they don’t have to be elaborate. Some people create them on a sheet of paper and pin them to bulletin boards or stick them on the front of their refrigerator. Others choose to use poster boards that they hang in their homes. Yet, others may create them electronically and use them as the background on their computers or phones. There are no rights or wrongs when it comes to creating vision boards.
Begin by making small daily changes. Sudden changes can shock the system and be overpowering while gradual changes can provide comfort. I hate to use something so negative as an example, but it will illustrate the point. One reason child pervs are able to engage in their sick behavior is because they groom their victims. Grooming is the act of taking small steps that are unnoticeable to get the child comfortable to comply with more egregious behavior. Transforming oneself is no different. It is intentionally taking small steps each day to ease into a comfortable transition of a larger change.
Speaking of habits, being aware of behavior is critical. The previous point stressed creating new routines to become habits. However, chances are that the behaviors/characteristics (s) that one wants to change are already habits. Since habits are behaviors that people engage in without paying much attention most of the time, a person wishing to change must pay special attention to avoid slipping into old habits. For example, I had a habit of writing phone numbers down without writing the name. Days later, I wouldn’t remember whose they were. Now, when I write down a number, I remind myself to double-check for a name.

That’s all I’ve got. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

How to Preptober for NaNoWriMo the Panster Way

Posted on October 4, 2023September 20, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

It’s October—time for fall festivals, trick or treating, and hayrides. It’s also the time to begin the serious prep work for National Novel Writing Month (a.k.a., NaNoWriMo or NaNo). For pantsers like myself, planning is a four-letter word. However, even with pantsers, a certain amount of planning does occur. It just looks different. It may not be with fancy outlines or detailed character profiles. On the contrary, it likely will appear more abstract as in a broad idea of a plot or a vague idea of a character. Planning begins with a starting point. For pantsers, the starting point may be a random idea that once he/she begins to write manifests into a story with the plot unfolding for the author (pantser) as he/she writes without any preconceived concepts. Thus, even pantser can prep for NaNo without being disingenuous to their pantsering style.

So, how does one prepare without planning?

Determining and setting goals. Many writers use word count as a goal. However, this does not have to be the case. One could designate completing a certain number of scenes or note the type of scenes to write. For example, someone writing a thriller may have written three action sequences as a goal. What those action sequences are comprised of may be unknown until the pantser sits at the computer and begins to write them.
Doing the heavy lifting. If there’s any research that one knows will need to be done to complete a story, then now is the time to tackle that monster. Researching can open so many rabbit holes so fast that even Alice wouldn’t be able to find her way home. Pantsers may not know specifically what research they will need to do, but often, they will have a general idea. For example, if a pantser is writing a story in which the main character works on a ship, the writer will need to know something about ships (e.g., types of vessels, ship jargon, navigational systems, etc.). The pantser will be able to anticipate some of what he/she needs to know and can research it before beginning NaNo. It will free up writing time instead of beginning to write only to have to stop to go look something up. Been there, done that. Not only does this slow writing, it can remove the writer from his/her “zone.” When writing is flowing, interruptions can bring it all to a halt in a hurry.
Finding support. On the NaNo website, there are opportunities to sign up for writing support groups. However, as with everything else in life, not all writing groups are created equally. Some may be more supportive or active than others. It may be beneficial to scout out the best writing groups for you before NaNo begins. This will help ensure that you will have a writing support group during NaNo.
Psychological warfare. This is personal to me and may not be a “real” thing, but I’m including it on this list anyway. I suspect that I’m not the only person with this issue. It is well known that I have failed at NaNo each and every year that I have participated. I’m determined to break this trend. However, one of the biggest obstacles I have come to overcome is myself. Once November arrives, my writing mind goes blank. When I reflect on my writing history, there is no denying that November is consistently my least productive month of the year. And when I participated in Camp NaNo in July, it became my second least productive month. This is a tell-tell of a psychological block. I’m getting into my head and preventing myself from being successful. Therefore, in October, I need to mentally begin preparing myself for NaNo. This includes a lot of positive affirmations, creating a list of obtainable and objective goals, having an accurate daily measuring system, and clearing my schedule for designated times to write. It also includes making writing a priority in any and all free type. Thus, instead of scrolling Instagram at lunch, I use that time to write instead. I maintain a writing mind throughout the day, constantly thinking about the characters and plot. If I get stuck or bogged down, I mentally have to not let it block me from working on another aspect of the story. Basically, I use October to clad myself in my mental writing armor. And while I haven’t successfully completed NaNo yet, I do improve and get closer each year.
Allow for setbacks. In the prepping phase, allot for setbacks and unexpecteds in your writing plan. When a house is being renovated, the budget should have a cushion for unexpected expenses. A person never knows what he/she will find once the walls are opened up. This can happen with writing. Last year, I was on target to meet my NaNo writing goals. Everything was going smoothly. Then, I had a car wreck that stole all my thunder, and I had to deal with all of that. During Camp NaNo this year, once again, I was on target to meet my writing goals when I had a computer crash which required putting my laptop in the shop. I never recovered from this setback. When making goals, factor in possible setbacks. For example, I now have a backup plan if I experience another computer crash.
Measure success by what you do as opposed to what you don’t do. As I mentioned previously, I’ve never reached my ideal goal during NaNo. However, I dive my goals into measurable steps. Where I may not meet my overall goal, I do successfully complete many smaller subgoals. Be sure to include these subgoals in your writing plan.
Order writing tools. I included this in my pre-prep Nano post that I posted in September. This is an important step for those who need it. For example, some writers find it helpful to read a hard copy of what they’ve written. Therefore, they will need to print their story, and to do this, printer ink is required. Some ink cartridges are harder to find in stores and will need to be ordered. In this day and time, shipping times can be lengthy. Additionally, there seems to be a shortage of many items. Waiting to purchase or obtain items that will be used during NaNo may hinder writing. Go ahead and cross these items off your list now so it won’t be an issue later.

That brings this post to a close. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

How to Prepare for Fall

Posted on September 27, 2023September 19, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

It’s that time of year when the days begin to get shorter, and the loss of sunlight causes some people to get the blues. This has become known as Season Affective Disorder (SAD) when the blues turn into a notable depression. Despite many people suffering from this, SAD was not recognized as a psychiatric issue for many years. Now, not only is it recognized, but there have been many techniques developed to address it. Yet, SAD isn’t the only issue that comes with the end of summer and the arrival of autumn. What better topic for World Mental Health Day (which is observed this week on 10/11)?

Create a fall bucket list. For many, summer is considered the fun season. People go on vacation and hang out with friends by the pool. When summer ends, so do many fun activities (e.g., pools and waterparks closing) and lazy days. It’s back to school and work. This can be a downer for some. However, the end of summer doesn’t have to mean the end of fun. Creating a fall bucket list keeps the fun activities going. Maybe one can’t hang out at the pool, but he/she can go on a hayride or attend a bonfire.
Buy fun clothes. No, you don’t have to break the bank. Just add one or two pieces of fun attire to your wardrobe to spruce up the day. Spring and summer are associated with bright colors while fall and winter are associated with muted tones and hues. The fashion industry follows suit and fills the racks with dark and neutral colors. According to research, babies and young children show a preference for bright colors, and these colors stimulate the brain. Thus, why not toss in a bright yellow scarf or ruby red shoes to kick up one’s mood?
Don’t become a couch potato. When the weather turns chilly and the sun goes down at five, it’s easy to get into the habit of going home and plopping on the couch to watch the boob tube. (Does anyone say boob tube anymore? For that matter, does anyone watch cable anymore, or is everyone streaming these days?) Maybe, for us older folks (*cough, cough*), we do this because we were taught to come inside once the streetlights come on. However, we’re adults now and are allowed to stay up late. We can go outside after dark. Really. The boogie man won’t snatch us. Well, I suppose in some areas he would, but we know stranger danger. On a less cheeky note, staying home isn’t a bad thing. However, getting out is good, too. One should keep a balance between the two.
Stock the cabinets. If one chooses to or must stay in, have comfort foods on hand. I know on dreary days; I don’t want to get out. I also don’t want to be stuck eating Vienna sausages on mustard. I always make certain I have stashed away ingredients to make a hearty chili or good gumbo.
Create a list of must–sees and must-reads. This just cuts down on brainwork and hours of flipping the remote from channel to channel. How many times have I gone on social media and seen posts asking for recommendations for a movie to watch or a book to read? There’s nothing wrong with doing this, however, one may not receive a prompt response. Or one may receive a few responses but they aren’t anything you’re interested in or have already viewed or read. Now is the time to prepare that list and have it on standby.
Fall décor. I’m only adding this one because it popped up so many times while researching this topic. Some people find this very cheery. The only reason I hesitate to add this is because it seems odd to have a throw pillow that says sweater weather when it is still over 80 degrees outside. Yeah, welcome to the Deep South.
Create an Emergency Road Kit. Actually, this is a good practice year-round. So, if you already have an emergency kit in your car, now would be a good time to check to ensure everything is still there and in working condition. For example, check the batteries in the flashlight and/or the expiration date on medical supplies (e.g., aspirin, ointments, etc.) and snacks. In the South, autumn also welcomes tornado season. I keep a small overnight bag packed with essentials in case I become stranded at work. In this kit, don’t forget the needs of pets and infants (e.g., pet food, leashes, diapers, powdered baby formula, and bottled water, etc.). Also, don’t forget the blankets.
Firewood. Now, is the time to begin a small stockpile of firewood for wood-burning fireplaces. These days there seems to be a shortage of everything. Start preparing early, and one won’t be in a crunch once the demand increases for these items. Just try finding a generator days before an ice storm. Weather is fickle—one day hot and the next day not. This doesn’t mean one needs to have a national forest chopped in his/her backyard. However, having enough wood on hand to get you started for the first couple of days that you want to warm up (physically or romantically), being able to grab a couple of logs from the backyard is handy.
Begin holiday planning. The holidays can be stressful, especially for persons planning gift exchanging or traveling. To reduce some of the burden, begin budgeting for expenses now. The farther in advance tickets are purchased, the cheaper they are. Again, these days there seem to be shortages and shipping delays. Early planning will give you ample time to have any presents delivered and backorders to be restocked.
Keep it bright. Seasonal depression stems from reduced Vitamin D, and one way the body gains Vitamin D is absorption through the skin via sunlight. Thus, spending as much time outside can help reduce seasonal depression. Additionally, artificial light sources can be purchased to help mimic sunlight. Many of these light sources can be purchased for a reasonable rate.

If you or someone you know are suffering from depression or any other mental illness, seek professional help. Many options are available, including online mental health services. Just be sure to do your due diligence to ensure you are receiving services from a trained and qualified professional. Do not be afraid or intimidated to inquire about a therapist’s education, years of practice, and references. Most have their vita available, either on their website or in an office pamphlet.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

KOP Classic Planner Review

Posted on September 25, 2023September 19, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

I just received my Kell of a Plan planner for 2024 today. It’s a vertical layout in the classic size. When I sized it up against my current HP classic planner, the covers were just a tad (not much) longer. I’m no expert on planners and don’t normally write product reviews but decided to give an honest review for the following reasons.

I’ve watched many release videos from influencers, and most are either sponsored or a personal friend. Therefore, there may be (not saying there is) bias in their reviews. I’m neither sponsored nor a personal friend.
I’ve struggled with finding a planner I want to use in the upcoming year. I thought my sharing may help others with their decision-making.

DISCLAIMER: The following are my opinions. Please investigate for yourself.

I’m starting with the cons just to get them out of the way.

CONS:

Cover design. From what I could tell, KOP released three planners for 2024 (two classic vertical and one dashboard). I was only interested in the vertical layout and didn’t care for either of the covers. I went with the one that I liked the inside more.
The size of the numbers on the weekly pages is huge. As someone who likes to decorate the top of the page, the size of these numbers will mean covering up.
The cost is on the pricey side. HOWEVER, the cost is understandable considering the quality and that this is an indie brand.

PROS:

This order arrived very quickly. In fact, I was shocked that I got it when I did.
The packaging was very secure to prevent damage during shipping.
The covers are reversible. I’ve already flipped mine and like it much better this way.
The dividers are dual-sided and can be reused in other planners without removing half of the monthly calendar.
The discs are metal instead of plastic.
The paper is of good quality, and I can use brush pens and dot markers without bleeding or shadowing.
The spine on the monthly and weekly pages is completely neutral.
The weekly layouts are designed with the weekdays on the left and weekend and sidebar on the right.
The sidebar is a dot grid.
The tabs are neutral and easy to read.
Each month has two pages that can be personalized to be anything. One is at the beginning of the month (although this has some design) and the other is at the end of the month (with a small quote in the left corner).
It has a perpetual calendar with the weekends shaded.
It has a coordinating sticker book.

Mixed feelings:

There is a page for important dates. I like that it has been included, but I wish it wasn’t labeled as “important dates.” I’ve all but decided to use that page for another purpose, and the hand lettering is so large on the top that covering it up is bound to not look great. But it can be covered.
I’m not a fan of some of the divider artwork, but I get that it’s on theme. It’s just a little busy for my personal taste.

Impressions:

Overall, I’m very satisfied with this purchase and believe that I will truly enjoy using it next year. The pros far outweigh any cons.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

How to Cope with Horrible Bosses

Posted on September 13, 2023September 12, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

Believe it or not, this post wasn’t inspired by the movie, but no joke, it could be a sequel or next installment. Today’s tale was told by an associate who joined our little after-work group because he needed a drink, ears to bend, and suggestions of what to do. I’m no stranger to stories that make you second guess the order in life, but this was one for the classics.

The employee in question, I will refer to as Sam (for no other reason than that was the first name that came to mind) and his supervisor as Eva. Sam has both more years of experience and a higher degree than Eva, but Eva has friends in administrative positions. When it came time for who was promoted, nepotism won. Initially, Sam was upset by being passed over yet again for a promotion. He began to wonder if it was him and if he would ever advance up the ranks. He concluded that a promotion wasn’t in the cards for him for whatever reason but that this may not be a bad thing. As the saying goes: when one door closes another door opens. He began to look at life beyond his current job and decided to begin building a side hustle that will one day become his primary paycheck. Not being promoted at his current job both gives him free time and motivation to become self-employed. Until then, he works his primary job for a paycheck and insurance. His heart and effort to impress employers are long gone, and he has become one of those “basic” employees. He performs his job to the bare minimal standard and nothing more. His attitude now is if his supervisor is being paid to do the job that no one thought he was qualified to do, then the supervisor can do the majority of the work. Perhaps not the best work ethic to have, but it’s understandable when for years one has felt underappreciated and undervalued while going the extra mile.

Additionally, the company does not give raises based on merit. All raises are across the board and the same amount regardless of employee performance. And this leads to another issue of mules. Some employees are required to pull the weight of slackers, and the slackers go unpunished. In fact, slackers are rewarded because they receive benefits without doing the work. For years, Sam was a mule pulling extra loads because he felt it was the right thing to do. However, after years of doing this with little to no appreciation his burnout has whittled away his loyalty, and he has no incentive to do the bare minimum.

Four terms that psychologists talk about are positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishment, and negative punishment. Due to how these terms are used in daily language, it’s easy to confuse what they mean psychologically. In psychological terms, positive/negative and reinforcement/punishment do not perfectly correlate to “good” and “bad.” Reinforcers are intended to increase behavior while punishments are intended to decrease behaviors. Instead, they refer to addition/subtraction, increase/decrease, and desired/undesired.

Positive reinforcement refers to adding something (i.e., reinforcing or rewarding) desirable or positive behavior in an effort to increase the likelihood that a desired behavior will increase in the future. For example, a paycheck or a raise would be examples of positive reinforcement.

Negative reinforcement works the same way except it involves removing something uncomfortable or unpleasant to increase the likelihood that a desired behavior will increase in the future. An example of negative reinforcement would be an employee completing his/her assignments early or on time to avoid having to work late, on the weekends, and/or on a holiday. In this example, taking away (i.e., removing) working late, on weekends, and/or holidays (something the employee finds unpleasant) results in increasing the likelihood that work assignments are completed in a timely manner.

The general concept of punishment refers to adding or removing a consequence to decrease the likelihood that an undesirable behavior will reoccur.

Positive punishment involves adding an aversive stimulus to reduce the probability that the behavior will happen again. Being verbally reprimanded by a supervisor for missing a deadline is an example of positive punishment. In this example, the verbal reprimand is what is added to decrease the likelihood that the employee will miss future deadlines.

Negative punishment refers to removing an aversive stimulus to decrease the probability that the behavior will reoccur in the future. An example of negative punishment is having one’s check docked for being late. Money is taken away to reduce the reoccurrence of the employee being late for work.

In summary, the difference between positive reinforcement and positive punishment is that positive reinforcement seeks to increase desired behavior while positive punishment seeks to decrease behavior. Taking it a step further, positive reinforcement intends to increase the reoccurrence of desired behavior by adding something pleasant. Positive punishment intends to decrease the reoccurrence of undesired behavior by adding something unpleasant, and negative reinforcement removes something unpleasant to increase the chances of the reoccurrence of a desired behavior.

	Action	Expectation	Behavior Type
Positive reinforcement	Add	Increase	Desired
Negative reinforcement	Remove	Increase	Desired
Positive punishment	Add	Decrease	Undesired
Negative punishments	Remove	Decrease	Undesired

So, why is it necessary to understand these four psychological concepts in this blog? This point will become obvious later.

So, that’s the history.

The issue began when Sam made a professional decision in the format of a report—a decision he is qualified to make. Although it is Sam’s credentials that ultimately count, Eva’s job title has her to sign after him, as if she has the authority to approve his work. Here’s the catch. The company policy allows Eva to do this. However, legally, she can’t. If there is ever a dispute over the document, the person who will be held responsible will be Sam and not Eva. Even if Eva admits she gave Sam an administrative directive to change his report, if the change is incorrect, Sam is liable, as this is seen as a competency issue.

If a patient tells his doctor that he is diabetic, and the doctor gives insulin without conducting the proper medical test, the doctor is guilty of malpractice. If the chief of staff has a degree in business and not medicine directs the doctor to administer insulin and the doctor does so without conducting the proper medical test to determine if the patient is indeed diabetic, the physician still is guilty of malpractice. The reason the physician is guilty is because he did not do the due diligence that he should have known to do. If ignorance of the law is no excuse, ignoring the law because someone says it’s okay is also no excuse.

The change Sam made in his report was made to increase the clarity of the report. Eva asked him to change it because (and this is where the irony begins) it makes it hard for the typist to include the information that Eva has instructed her to change after Sam has signed off. Thus, Sam pointed out that changing his reports after he has signed off without his knowledge and leaving his name there to make it appear that he has made the changes is an act of falsifying documentation. It’s no different than signing a contract to rent an apartment and then having the landlord add additional terms and fees to the lease without the renter being aware of the changes.

Now, in all fairness, it should be noted that Eva has been trained to perform the supervisory job but only to a limited capacity. For example, a person who has learned basic math can likely balance a checkbook or budget. However, is that person capable of applying exponential and logarithmic functions and statistical analysis to understand complex spreadsheets such as national budgets? Mimicking what to do is one thing. Having a deep understanding of why something is done allows for generalization into other areas. While Eva is capable of being an effective supervisor, she in no way should be supervising Sam. Her incompetency in what he does bleeds into her dictation to him that can potentially cause him to do a poor job which will hold him (and only him) accountable for any debacles. This is what makes Eva a horrible boss.

Sam’s job offers him very little (actually nothing) in the area of reinforcers but is overloaded with punishment. The reason that punishment often fails to have long-term effects in producing desired outcomes is that the person experiencing it often develops resentment towards the person administering it and shuts down to being open to changing behavior. In hindsight, Sam had still been harboring resentment for his shabby treatment and was triggered when approached by Eva to request that he basically dummy down his report for a secretary’s convenience. That was the true root of the issue.

So, what can be done?

The most obvious answer is to change jobs or positions. Simply do not work for a horrible boss. However, that is easier said than done, especially when decent-paying jobs are difficult to acquire in this economy. This leads to the second point.
Develop an exit strategy. This may include going back to school for an advanced degree or taking training that will teach skills required for job advancement. It also could include, as in Sam’s case, developing a side hustle.
Avoid the person as much as possible. If you don’t have to be around this person, don’t. Close your office door. Wear earbuds to cancel out the surroundings and get a Zen place. Complete works in a timely fashion with as few errors as possible to avoid having to meet or avoid discussions. Communicate via email or text when possible to avoid face-to-face. Become inaccessible during free time by avoiding common areas. For example, instead of hanging out in the employee lounge on break, sit outside and enjoy the fresh air.
Have outlets to channel any negative energy. This entails forming a good support group. This group may include family, friends, a community organization, and/or a professional therapist. There is no limit as to how many supports one can have. What is important is that the supports are people who can be trusted, are levelheaded, will listen, remain objective, and give constructive criticism as opposed to tearing one down.
Mental preparation before encounters. Some people do yoga. Others meditate, and others choose prayer. Whatever method is chosen, spend time to mentally prepare for interactions. Understand your triggers and use relaxation techniques when you feel yourself getting riled.
Arm yourself with prevention to avoid contact. For example, I have a relative who during holiday gatherings always brings down the mood with many complaints and controlling behaviors. However, I noticed that there is a pattern to her complaints. I developed a strategy to address all her complaints prior to her making them. For instance, she has an annoying habit of interrupting Christmas gift unwrapping by stopping anxious gift receivers during the middle of opening gifts to pick up any gift-wrapping paper that falls to the floor. “Oh, pick that up.” “You missed a little piece over there.” “Throw that in the trash.” Excited children are prevented from enjoying the moment. Parents miss getting that look of surprise when the present they’ve been so excited to give is squashed by multiples, “Put that in the trash.” There was a discussion to exclude this relative from the celebration, but many thought that was too mean and extreme. Thus, my solution was to place several trash bags around the room the night before. When anyone opens a gift, I slide the bag under them to catch the wrapping. Now, she can’t complain—at least not about that. I addressed each of her complaints in a similar fashion to steal her thunder. Now, she sits quietly on these occasions, looking for something to complain about.
Most things in life are temporary. Horrible bosses come and go. This boss may not always be there. He/she may be promoted to another position, retire, quit, be terminated, or need to vacate the position for other reasons.
Your horrible boss may not have anything to do with you or your ability. Sam, on many levels, is a threat to Eva. She knows that she has the position but that Sam has the knowledge. She knows that she has the support and backing of the company but that Sam has legal on his side. She feels threatened and sometimes attempts to throw her weight around as a supervisor. Allow this. If it makes another person feel better about themselves, so be it. How they feel about themselves should be no reflection of how you feel about yourself. It’s nothing but MGS (Mean Girl Syndrome). Let the person have their moment in the sun because yours will come eventually. While the supervisor is doing that, occupy your time with something else.
Don’t stress. Take breaks. Work smarter, not harder. Don’t exhaust yourself for employers who don’t value and will not reward your effort. As Sam says, if Eva is the supervisor, then she can do the supervisor’s work by having to put in extra hours. For example, Sam used to complete assignments as quickly as possible. Now, he completes them as close to the deadline as possible. Even if he completes them far in advance, he does not turn them in until close to the deadline. Why? Because Eva has the same deadlines, and it makes her have to hustle to do her part. Now, this may sound like being petty or passive-aggressive and perhaps it is. But when Sam completes assignments early, Eva gives him more work to do while she kicks her feet up. She also gets the credit from higher-ups for running an effective department. Since he began doing this, Eva’s time in her office watching YouTube videos and talking coo-coo to her grandbaby on Facetime during working hours has significantly decreased.
Consider what is best for you and put yourself first. Sam used to set aside his personal life for work. He’d work over without being asked and volunteer to do tasks when no one else stepped up. That’s all in the past for him. If someone is needed to work late, he doesn’t volunteer. If wants a day off, he doesn’t factor in if it is inconvenient for anyone anymore. He just takes the day off. Eva can deal with the shortage. After all, that is the position of the supervisor.

Now, I understand that there are many people who will disagree with these suggestions, and I get why. Employees are paid to do a job. Employers owe nothing to employees—except that isn’t true. Employers owe their employees to be treated decently and like humans. Employers do not have the right to belittle and dehumanize employees. Sure, they can tell an employee what to do and critique their work (harshly even). Being a good boss does not mean not being firm or allowing employees to have a wide range to do whatever they want to do. It does not mean that a supervisor does not have the right to reprimand or terminate employees. It doesn’t even mean they have to be nice. But bosses should be fair, just, respectful, and knowledgeable.

If the pandemic taught anything about the workforce, it was that employees learned they had options. They got in touch with their self-worth and value. Many learned that they were stronger than they thought and could do without things that had thought were necessary. It wasn’t that employees didn’t want to work (well, some didn’t), but many realized that they didn’t have to work for bosses who treated them like garbage. People like Sam who have invested numerous years with the hopes of one day being rewarded, only to have more than fifteen years with no advancements due to nepotism and a system designed to keep him in place.

Sam will never be given a supervisory position because his position doesn’t require him to supervise anyone. All supervisor positions require supervisory experience. That’s how persons who have less education and less experience but are in positions that allow them to go to supervisory classes can have them slide into a supervisor slot. In fact, there have been times when Sam (a person with a postgraduate degree and over twenty years of experience) has been under the supervision of someone with a GED and three years’ experience. This is not a knock to anyone with a GED. It just demonstrates what little regard his company holds for people in his position. It’s like having a CNA supervise a neurosurgeon. There is no shade to the CNA. It does not imply that a neurosurgeon is better or more worthy. It’s a matter of expertise when it comes to getting the job done. Is a CNA trained to perform brain surgery? Would the medical board allow a CNA to do brain surgery?

I began this topic by indicating that Sam’s supervisor does not have the credentials to do his job. He began his employment with the belief he was beginning a career. After all, that is what the supervisor had told him. He didn’t realize then that he actually was stepping into a dead-end job. He patiently waited his turn and worked to the best of his ability. He has been noticed by the administration to be one of the company’s finest employees. They frequently go to him when there is a crisis and they need someone to dig them out. He’s been held back not because he’s incapable of doing the job but on technicalities to give family and friends better jobs. Now, Sam has stopped being the overachiever and become a minimal standard. He’s on his way out of the company on his terms. Until then, he just needs to cope.

That wraps up this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or X (formerly tweet) me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

How to Support Someone Experiencing Chronic Pain

Posted on August 30, 2023July 9, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

Perhaps there’s no worst feeling in the world than watching a loved one suffer and not being able to help. But there may be small things that can be done, only those acts may not be apparent. Here are ten ways to be supportive of a loved one who is in pain. It’s also important that chronic pain isn’t exclusively viewed as having to be physical pain. There are numerous other ways that a person may be debilitated by pain.

Understanding. Chronic physical pain may cause the sufferer to experience increased anxiety and/or depression. The sufferer may feel helpless/hopeless that his/her condition will ever improve or that she will always live a diminished life. He/she may feel that she is missing out on life or has become a burden to others. These are psychological issues that others may not recognize are present yet are significant in preventing the person from healing or making progress. Therefore, it is important to understand that psychological/mental, emotional, and spiritual health are as important as physical health and that these areas of a person’s life are also addressed. Thus, it may be necessary to research out to or contact support groups, mental health professionals, spiritual leaders, or other trained professionals to help in these areas.
Listening. Sometimes a person needs to vent, and all that is required to be supportive is to listen. Advice and commentary aren’t always necessary. Being present and attentive may be enough.
Observing. Often people with chronic pain shut down emotionally and refuse to discuss how they are feeling—especially persons who suffer from mental illness. Frequently, this is due to having been harshly criticized and dismissed previously by others around them. These surrounding people demonstrate little to no empathy and convey to the person experiencing the pain that he/she needs to get over it, stop whining, push through the pain, other people have it worse, they aren’t trying to get better, and that they will never recover or get better if they continue to wallow in self-pity. While it is important to encourage a person to work through his/her pain (whether it be physical, mental, or emotional), it is equally as important not to invalidate his/her feelings. Such statements could be harmful and cause setbacks. It is key to observe overt signs (e.g., decreased interest in hobbies, decreased physical activity, facial expressions, forgetfulness, irritability, mood swings, poor concentration, restlessness, sleep disturbances, suicidal ideation, and sweating).
Learning. There is no better way to understand something than having accurate information about what it is. Take time to learn about the person’s illness and/or diagnosis.
Encouraging. When a person has chronic pain, they may become too fatigued to continue to fight, at which point, someone else may need to pick up his/her cross for him/her. Seeing someone advocate on his/her behalf and help (note: this does not mean enable) and knowing he/she isn’t alone may reinvigorate the person to continue. As the song goes: one is the loneliest number. Ensure that the person understands that he/she isn’t alone. Be a positive in the person’s life.
Competency. This may be especially important with older people who may be intimidated by or fearful of healthcare professionals. As a result, they may not seek appropriate people to help. For example, I remember my father discussing how his eldest brother never questions his longtime family physician despite a continuous decline in health. When my uncle complained of severe stomach pain and nausea, his family physician diagnosed him as having a sinus issue and performed a surgical procedure on his nose. It was months later when my uncle had lost a tremendous amount of weight and could barely stand that another physician diagnosed him with advanced cancer. A person who is experiencing chronic pain may not be thinking clearly or feel too helpless to understand or mentally process what is being said about their condition. Thus, they may need assistance in locating competent providers and treatment options.
Communicating. Ask the person questions about what they need and how you can help. Offer to go with them to appointments, pick up prescriptions or medical supplies from the pharmacy, or run errands. Sometimes, the sufferer may not be aware of what he/she needs until someone asks.
Socializing. A person who is experiencing chronic pain or illness may be omitted from being invited to social events because “no one wants a Debbie Downer.” Or it could be that people neglect to extend an invitation because they assume the person will not feel well enough to attend. These assumptions may cause the person to become ostracized. As a result, the person may have few friends or social interactions. Find an activity that the two of you can enjoy together and invite them out for the day. It could be going to brunch, a visit to a spa, or watching fireworks. Any activity will do as long as it allows the person an opportunity to get out of the house and into society.
Be realistic. Don’t become a zealot and make promises that cannot be kept. Making false, inaccurate, or misleading promises could lead to later resentment and hurt feelings. Sometimes, there are limitations to what can be done, and it’s okay to admit them.
Respecting. Understand, acknowledge, and respect personal boundaries. A person’s health is intimate information. For multiple reasons, a person may wish to be selective about whom and when he/she shares this information. That is his/her right and privilege. If a person indicates that he/she is reluctant, unwilling, or uncomfortable discussing their health issues, allow them that space. Remember, it is his/her health and their choice. You may disagree with some or all of his/her healthcare decisions.

That’s a wrap. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

Women’s Equality Day

Posted on August 16, 2023July 9, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

On August 26, 1920, the Nineteenth Amendment to the U.S., Constitution was certified by the states. This amendment reads as follows: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.” It is in honor of this amendment that August 26 is celebrated as Women’s Equality Day. Sometimes, it is easy to forget that what is taken for granted today isn’t what it always once was. When I hear people express a dislike for feminists or that feminism is a corrupt, fascist movement, I’m always baffled, as it was the feminist movement (a.k.a., suffrage activists) that made the Nineteenth Amendment a reality. The suffrages were viewed as troublemakers and lawbreakers for voicing an unpopular political opinion against an oppressive law and discriminatory practices against women. They faced many hardships and much criticism for their views.

Women’s Rights Day was first celebrated in 1972 after U.S. President Richard Nixon issued Proclamation 4147. In 1973, a joint house resolution was passed by Congress to designate August 26 as Women’s Equality Day.

While it is important to note this day in history, it is equally as important to note the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment did not include all women. In fact, it largely excluded women of color. It also is fair to say that a degree of hypocrisy existed within suffrage activities of the 1920s and prior, as women of color were often excluded from participating. However, two opposing ideas can both be true. While the movement of the time may not have been inclusive, there were benefits to be had by all. Therefore, it is important not to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

I think most would agree that when it comes to equal rights for women in the U.S., there still is a way to go. However, just because there is progress to be had does no progress had been made. It also does not mean that the progress currently made shouldn’t be acknowledged or celebrated. Small milestones are what lead to the stepping stones that lay the foundation. Without a foundation, nothing can be solid. Thus, before dismissing it as not enough, view it as a work in progress.

There often seems to be confusion that equality and kindness can’t coexist. There’s a misconception that if a woman responds positively to certain acts of kindness that she is being hypocritical about wanting to be treated equally. For example, I appreciate it when a man opens a door for me. Historically, men opening doors for women has been viewed as a chivalrous men’s gender role. However, I open doors for men. And other women. And children. People. I open the door for people because it’s kind, and that is how I was raised and not because of their age, gender, race, or anything else. I don’t think, “Oh, I’m a woman, therefore, my gender dictates that I not open a door.” And when a man opens a door for me, I’m appreciative because it was a kind act and not because I believe it is something men are “required” to do.

Should a woman pay for a date? Historically, men have picked up the tabs on dates. Many people use this as an argument that women don’t truly want to be treated equally. But look at it this way. If you ask someone over to your home for dinner, would you expect them to buy the groceries and cook when they arrive? Or would you have dinner prepared for them? Dating can be seen as similar. Whoever the asker is that is the person who (unless otherwise discussed) should be the person who pays. But some men are opposed to women paying for dates even if the woman was the asker. All women’s equality does is ask that women be treated fairly and be given the same opportunities as men.

There was an experiment conducted with dry cleaners that demonstrated how women are unfairly treated when it comes to me. DISCLAIMER: What I’m about to report was a news report that I viewed some time ago. I can’t remember the name of the news program to give appropriate credit. If anyone remembers the originators of this experiment, please leave a comment in order for credit to be given.

The news journalists purchased identical long sleeve white button-down shirts and took it to several dry cleaners for cleaning. There were a couple of conditions as to how this shirt was presented: presenter and type. First, were the presenters. There were four presenters: a Caucasian man, a Caucasian woman, an African American man, and an African American woman. The second condition was the type of shirt. Sometimes, the shirt was said to be a man’s shirt, and other times, it was said to be a woman’s blouse. In each case, the cleaner was asked how much it would cost to clean. Remember, in all instances, the shirts are identical. The following is a chart of all the possible scenarios.

Caucasian man	Caucasian woman	African American man	African American woman
Man’s shirt	Man’s shirt	Man’s shirt	Man’s shirt
Woman’s blouse	Woman’s blouse	Woman’s blouse	Woman’s blouse

The shirt was taken to each of the dry cleaners under all of these conditions. For example, let’s say one of the dry cleaners was named Clean Press. Over a period of several days, Clean Press would have been asked for an estimate for the cost of cleaning for:

a man’s shirt by a Caucasian male customer
a woman’s blouse by a Caucasian male customer
a man’s shirt by a Caucasian female customer
a woman’s blouse by a Caucasian female customer
a man’s shirt by an African American male customer
a woman’s blouse by an African American male customer
a man’s shirt by an African American female customer
a woman’s blouse by an African American female customer

In a fair world, Clean Press would have quoted the same price to all the customers in each condition because it was the same shirt. However, that isn’t what happened. Now, I’m not going to get into specifics for each scenario, but in this experiment, at the majority of the dry cleaners, the quote for cleaning this shirt when presented as a “woman’ blouse” was higher than when it was presented as a “man’s shirt.” This indicates that inequality of women does exist and isn’t made up propaganda for some political agenda. Feel free to disagree. All that is asked is to be respectful in commenting.

In summary, while Women’s Equality Day isn’t met with much fanfare, it can be celebrated by appreciating women and their struggles.

And that will bring this post to a close. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

How to Overcome Setbacks

Posted on August 9, 2023July 4, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

Wow! What a month. I hadn’t planned to take a month off from blogging, but here I am. I’m going to explain a situation that I think many people can relate to and where research has led me.

A couple of ago, I awoke feeling energetic and motivated. I was thrilled about this because the week prior I hadn’t been feeling my best. Strangely, I’d done something to pop my knee and was hobbling about rather pathetically. Plus, my allergies decided it was an opportune time to flare. The nine-to-five had been needlessly hectic and overly complicated. Mountains were being created out of ant hills. In all, everything had brewed itself into a mess of a week. The combination of these events dampened my spirits and caused me to want to lay up in bed to heal—especially my allergies. The headache was massive.

Well, all of that had begun to clear itself. I could again bear weight on my knee without shooting pain, and my allergies cleared to be non-debilitating. The situation at work resolved itself (not optimally but with a conclusion all the same). I wasn’t at 100%, but I was thankful to have 85% as opposed to the 3% that I had been. It was an improvement that allowed me to be functional and rejoin the world. Plus, I was ready to jump back into life. And so I did… for about four hours.

It is true what is said about taking things for granted. You don’t miss them or realize their importance until they are gone. This is a lesson that I never seem to quite learn. I say this because I’ve been in this position before and have uttered the same words. In all fairness, I do actively attempt to be grateful every day. Yet, it never fails to throw me for a loopy loop when I realize I just “expect” something to be there and am devastated when it isn’t.

At the end of the nine-to-five workday, I placed my laptop on sleep mode before making the commute home. I use my laptop for both business and pleasure. So, one of the first things I do, when I arrive at a destination, is to fire up the laptop to either check email, stream, work, or go on social media. I honestly do not think I’ve turned on a television or radio in over a year. This day was no different except my laptop would not wake up. Nothing. Just a blank screen. I couldn’t even hear the soft hum of the fan. I panicked. However, not all was lost. I still had my smartphone. Therefore, I did the only natural thing anyone in my situation would do. I performed an internet search to troubleshoot the problem.

I don’t remember how long I spent troubleshooting, but nothing worked. The laptop did eventually power on after I drained the battery and recharged it. I thought, “By golly, I’ve fixed it.” But this was a false positive. After approximately ten minutes, the screen turned blue and gave me an error message. The error message said that information was being gathered to correct the problem and would restart. Displayed on the screen was a percentage bar indicator for the scan. Finally, the percentage made it to 100%, and I waited and waited for the computer to restart. More than ten minutes of being idle passed and nothing. Perhaps, I was a bit impatient and should have given it another ten minutes, but I manually clicked restart. Big mistake. It did restart, but the screen remained blank and would do nothing. Taking a line from The Princess Bride, instead of being all dead it was mostly dead.

Being mostly dead wasn’t much of an improvement. I could do nothing, but I did have hope. At some point, I noticed that my Caps Lock button was blinking. After more Googling, I realized the blinking could be code for what was the issue. Thus, I threw on my Sherlock Holmes cap and got to detecting. I concluded that the issue stemmed from a RAM problem and that the laptop would need to be opened. That was a little too advanced for my blood. At that point, my heart sank and I gave up. I began searching for a repair shop, but my hope to find one wasn’t high.

My nine-to-five has an IT department, and some of the workers will take on side projects. I’ve had one of them work on my personal computers previously and for a really good rate. The problem was: it was a side gig for him. When it comes to side projects, he works at his leisure in his spare time. Also, he doesn’t have parts. Anything he needs, he must order from Amazon. He doesn’t have any distributors from whom he can acquire parts in an hour or two. The best he can do is request overnight shipping which most times cost an arm, leg, and a couple of vertebrae. I recognize that my impatience isn’t his fault, but basically, a good majority of my life is on my laptop. I was lost without it. I knew asking him to work on it would likely take weeks. Therefore, I opted to look for a repair shop.

Interestingly, what I discovered was most people would rather replace a computer than repair it. Cheaper. However, the thought of buying a new computer freaked me out—not just because they are expensive, but because I don’t remember any of my passwords. I open my laptop with a password, and everything else is remembered/stored. Fortunately, I located a repair shop and one that wouldn’t break the bank. Hands down, the repairer did an excellent and expedient job. I would recommend him to anyone. However, I had a gnawing in my stomach.

My laptop crashed on a Tuesday afternoon. I hadn’t completed or uploaded my blog when it occurred. And although I was able to back up my work on a flash, I didn’t have a way to work on it. There were a few tasks that I could do on my phone, but not without a struggle using such a small screen. So, even when I realized that I could have my laptop repaired, I knew I needed to have a backup way to work.

The local library does have computers available for the public to use, but certain sites and web pages are prohibited from viewing. USB flash drives and CD Roms (for people still using them) are not allowed to be used. Nothing, of course, can be saved to the library computer hard drives. And there’s a two-hour time limit. (An additional hour can be granted with special permission but basically, you have to explain your life away as to why this extra time is needed and be judged for it.) The computers are only a few feet apart, providing very little privacy for users. Plus, the library is only open five days a week with bank hours. Thus, anyone holding a nine-to-five and needing to work after 5:00 PM is S.O.L. The computers also are shut down thirty minutes before the library closes. If that wasn’t enough, there’s a limited number of computers (approximately 10 to 15), and usually, not all of them are working. It’s not uncommon to arrive and find that all of the computers are shut down. In short, using library computers is an entire ordeal, and unfortunately, there are no local computer cafes.

When my laptop crashed several years ago and my IT coworker took it for repairs, I was unable to work efficiently for weeks. I had to write/record everything by hand and then when my computer was returned, I had to transfer it all into electronic files. It was double the work, yet, it had to be done. The difference was back then, I was less dependent on my laptop and I had fewer projects. This time around, I bit the bullet even though I didn’t want to, and purchased a backup for emergencies and travel. It didn’t come without problems. When I began setting it up, I had to download software and figure out saved passwords. Even passwords that I was 100% certain about were being rejected, and some of the recovery information was so old I couldn’t recall. For some of it, I just gave up and don’t have it installed. All of this knocked all of the wind out of my sails.

Fast forward two weeks. I was just recovering and attempting to get caught up when I received a little surprise from my cell phone service provider. They thought it would be fun to force me to update my phone software. I’m not going to get into the ins and outs of this fiasco, but it ended with me having to get a new phone. And while the representative assured me everything from my old phone would transfer to the new phone and everything saved to the cloud was secure, this was not the case. I spent three hours on a Saturday morning having my phone info transferred, and still, I was missing a lot. Plus, the passwords went all stupid again. Mind you, I’d just changed everything for the new computer, so the new passwords were fresh in my mind. Now, I would chalk all of this up to maybe typos or my bad memory, but some passwords I share with family. And when I shared with them the “new” passwords, they responded with, “This is already the password.” So, it wasn’t me. And when passwords are reset, that meant I (and my family share passwords) were logged out of every device we used and needed to log back in. And wouldn’t you guess that this didn’t go smoothly?

That same day, I had a person (a very rude individual) step into my personal space without invitation and obligate me for something without giving me any advance notice or asking permission to do so. When I informed her that I was unavailable, she demanded to know what I had to do…like I needed to explain everything in my life to her. She saw absolutely nothing wrong with making plans on my behalf without consulting me. And when I called her on it for being rude and disrespectful, she attempted to gaslight me by insinuating that it was beneficial to me. Granted, that was true. However, she would have never done it if she wasn’t getting something out of it. It is like the person who helps you change a flat tire because they need a ride. Yes, your flat is repaired, but if they hadn’t wanted a lift somewhere, you could have been rolling around flat on all fours for all that they cared. But to the rest of the world, the person presents himself/herself as having done a good and selfless deed. Therefore, when I called this person out, she went into “victim” mode. She refused to take any responsibility or apologize. And of course, I was viewed by everyone she ran her mouth to as the ungrateful, bad-tempered, unreasonable bully for believing I have a right to determine my own schedule.

This unexpected drama drained the last remaining energy that I had. I allowed all of this too much rental space in my head, and it knocked me out for the count. For the next weeks, I accomplished nothing. I couldn’t become motivated, and when I did muster up some energy, I could not concentrate. I was a blob of unproductiveness.

Sometimes, we hit walls. We have days, weeks, and even months like this. However, I realized that I couldn’t remain in such a negative space, and the only person who could do something about it was me. I came to this realization after witnessing the person who had gotten into my space trucking along as if she’d done nothing. Explaining my side of anything was wasted. That was when a few things came to light about setbacks.

Most setbacks are only temporary. All you need to do is wait them out.
Being right (or perceived as being right by others) is not important. Some people will never admit fault or see the truth no matter how obvious. It is wasted energy to attempt to prove yourself to people whose opinions likely do not matter in the first place.
Relationships change and can be outgrown. Someone who is close to you can let you down majorly. It’s a good reminder that no one is perfect. Some people will fall short, but it does not mean that they must hold you back.
Your goals are your goals. At the end of the day, if you’re not working toward your goals, the person who will suffer is you. Old girl who was in my space didn’t lose a doggone thing. In fact, I doubt her feelings were hurt when I told her about herself because she was too busy standing on her pedestal feeling righteous. But she was achieving her goals. I was the person missing out.
Everyone has setbacks. They are nothing new,
Every setback comes with a lesson and a ton of options. One only needs to feel his/her way though. Take notes and learn from the experience.
Your feelings are valid. Don’t allow anyone to invalidate you. You cannot achieve if filled with doubt.
Develop a plan for future problems. For example, with the computer, I came purchased a backup laptop.
Ask people that you trust for advice and guidance. They may have suggestions that never crossed your mind.
Along the same line of thought, avoid people who do not have your best interest at heart. You may need to vent, but venting to a frenemy may make matters worse.
Take time out to regroup. Don’t rush decisions when your mind is not in the correct, logical space. Count to 10, 20, 100, 1000. Go for a run. Go on a staycation. Just take the time you need to sort through your options.
And speaking of options, make a list of every possible solution—even the ones that seem unlikely to work. Give yourself every alternative to tackle a situation. Know the pros and cons. Measure what you have to gain and what you stand to lose.
Give yourself a break. Don’t continuously blame yourself for any mistakes you made or thought you made. Mistakes happen. Many can’t be undone, but you can move forward. Remember, shame, guilt, and blame are all paralyzing. None of them allow for any forward progress.
Understand that you will begin feeling better once you start to reclaim your power. Self-pity is usually not satisfying for very long.
Maintain perspective. Know what you are reasonably capable of. For example, if someone wanted to lose weight, it’s probably unreasonable to expect to lose 50 pounds in a month. However, losing five pounds a month may be durable. Understand what resources you have available and can use.
There’s no rule that says you can’t change your goals or your plan to obtain your goals at any time. You do what works best for you.

So, that wraps up this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm”, and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

To Trigger Warning or Not to Trigger Warning

Posted on August 2, 2023July 9, 2023 by Genevive Chamblee

Oh, when I say today’s topic is a touchy one, I mean almost taboo level. People are very polarized on the topic, and are easily (I hate to use the word but…) triggered. Yes, today, I’m discussing trigger warnings.

When I think of trigger warnings, I think of a general heads-up rating. I don’t expect detailed spoilers or cautioning about something that should be expected. For example, the title The Texas Chainsaw Massacre should alert viewers that there will be graphic violence. I hear the word massacre, and I’m not thinking tea parties and balloon animals. The word chainsaw just adds more to it. The movie is advertised as a horror/thriller and has an R-rating. Without knowing anything else, a R-rating indicated that this is not a film with content suitable for children due to offensive language, violence, or sexual activity. Thus, if I see a movie with this rating, I assume that it contains one or more of these elements. But that no longer seems to be enough.

And all right already. I can hear the rebuttals that no one uses the antiquated R-rating anymore. The scales TV-MA and NC-17 are what are used now. They’re the same thing in my opinion. Both of these ratings indicate that there is adult content that is not deemed appropriate for children. Specifically, TV-MA movies have an adult target audience and may include indecent language, graphic violence, and/or explicit sexual content. NC-17 movies have a target audience over the age of 17. Tossing age to the side, R, TV-MA, and NC-17 all are rating that wave mammoth red flags that indicate, “Hey, the stuff happening in this film is not for the kiddies.”

Before continuing, I need to rewind and relay some background information about the origin of the idea to discuss this topic. One weekend, a group of friends and I settled in to watch a movie together. Before the opening credits began scrolling, a disclaimer popped on the screen noting that the events in the movie were not real and had been created by the writer. The disclaimer further noted that although the movie used the names of historical figures, the movie content was not intended to be historically accurate. I found it odd that this disclaimer needed to be made because the movie was adapted from a bestselling fictional novel and had been heavily advertised as such. If the book was fiction, it would follow that the movie be fiction as well. By definition, fiction means something that is invented, imagined, or untrue. But okay, maybe there were viewers who didn’t know the movie was based on a novel. When did it become a thing to note when a movie is fictional? Usually, it is the other way around—that a movie indicates that it is inspired by a true story or factual events.

Now, “inspired by” and “based on” in movie language do not translate to mean historically accurate. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, for example, was loosely based on the crimes committed by a mesh of horrible serial killers including Ed Gein and Elmer Wayne Henley. The screenwriters took great liberties with facts to create cinema. It is reported that most “inspired by,” “true,” and “based on” movies contain a significant amount of fictionalization. So, if this the case (that even true story movies and books are largely not true), why is necessary to explicitly declare a movie/book to not be true? Wouldn’t that already be the assumption? But again, I’ll play devil’s advocate. Let’s assume, there is a need to declare a work fictional. Is it then necessary to point out the parts of the story or book that is fictional?

The disclaimer prefacing the movie that my friends and I had gathered to watch continued with a statement that the author had intentionally deviated from historical facts. As opposed to what? Accidentally deviating from facts? It was as if this disclaimer was needed to explain to viewers that the writer hadn’t made a mistake in reporting the fact. Again, isn’t this what fiction is—something that isn’t true? The movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood comes to mind. This movie contains depictions of real people but deviates in major ways from history. The “once upon a time” is an indication to viewers that the movie is a fairytale…of sorts. I mean, this is a Quentin Tarantino film. Call me an oddball but in my mind, a Tarantino film isn’t synonymous with fairytales and happily-ever-after. Just saying.

The point is that certain titles, genres, directors, authors, or brands should automatically conjure some expectations. For example, if I said Jim Carrey, most people would immediately associate him with being a comedian or a comedic actor. However, Carrey has had dramatic roles. When a book is marketed as science fiction, readers reasonably will expect plots to revolve around futuristic concepts (e.g., aliens/extraterrestrial life, space, time travel, parallel/alternative universes, advanced technology, etc.) What viewers were shocked to find that the movie E.T. was about an alien? And hard would it be for someone who had never watched an episode of The Walking Dead to figure out it was likely about zombies? At what point are trigger warnings unnecessary? If a person walks into an adult movie store, does an item in the store need to be rated X? Or can it be assumed that is what they all are and move on?

I feel (and the following statement is based on opinion and not any researched facts) that we are living in an era where many authors/writers are uncertain when and/or if to write a trigger warning. I, myself, have fallen victim to this limbo. Many years ago, I wrote a trigger warning thinking that I was being responsible only later to receive feedback that it was unnecessary. Under similar circumstances, I didn’t write a trigger warning under the same circumstances, and I received feedback from readers that they wanted a trigger warning. Another time briefly mentioned a taboo subject with no great detail. I decided to err on the side of caution and included a trigger warning. I received lots of feedback that the trigger warning wasn’t warranted. Yet still, another time I included a trigger warning; I received feedback that the warning “wasn’t strong enough.” If a person was informed that a bear was roaming his/her backyard, does it make a difference if I specify if it’s a grizzly bear or a black bear? My takeaway would be not to enter the backyard until animal control is on the scene and has handled the situation. The details of the type of bear can be sorted later. Priorities, folks.

Some will say to ask beta readers, and that isn’t a surefire solution, either. Recall the incident where I included a trigger warning and was told it was too mild. Well, that WIP had more than twelve reviewers and betas pre-release. Two days before going live is the first time that I or my editors received feedback from anyone being unsatisfied with the trigger warning. Honestly, I panicked. I felt as if I’d been punched in the throat. It was too late to halt the publication to make changes. I wasn’t upset about being told to rewrite the warning. I was upset because more than a dozen very studious betas hadn’t found it to be an issue, but two ARC reviewers did. Talk about a soul-crushing moment.

Many writers are leery of writing trigger warnings because it could possibly shy potential readers from reading. This doesn’t mean that writers are seeking to trick readers into reading their books under false pretenses. I wrote a trigger warning, and reviewers all said it was unnecessary. So, readers who may have considered reading may have been turned off because they thought the content would be super graphic. One weekend, a friend from out of state came to visit, and we decided to go to the movies. When we arrived, we didn’t have a choice of movies and decided to let the kids pick. They selected Insidious 2. I didn’t know anything about the movie, but from the ticket seller, I started to pick up scary vibes. Well, I don’t care for horror movies. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. It wasn’t scary in the least. Now, had I known that it was supposed to be some super frightening movie, I would have refused to go and not have given it a chance.

Another reason authors are iffy about trigger warnings is that sometimes adding a warning gives away an element of surprise or a plot twist. I recall watching a movie (I won’t give the name so as to not give any spoilers) where a main character unexpectedly unalived himself in a very graphic manner. It was a shocking and disturbing scene, but not knowing it was coming added to the powerfulness of the scene and made the death all that more impactful. Although this movie had an R-rating, it was an older movie before trigger warnings became trendy and did not specify suicide as a plot. In today’s market, it almost certainly would come with a warning. Many viewers and readers have complained that movies and books have become dull with no new elements. Perhaps part of this can be attributed to viewers and readers having too much information about the plot. For example, some movie trailers show the best scenes. One of the reasons credited for the success of Avengers: Endgame is that the studio and producers kept the details of the movies close to their chests, going as far as including clips in the trailer that were not in the movie.

Triggers are very personal. What triggers one person may have little or no effect on another. Watching someone eat a rare steak grosses me out far more than a bunch of actors running around a screen with buckets of fake blood on them. At the dinner table, I was gagging while my bestie enjoyed his meal. In the movie theatre, I was unbothered while he could barely look up. Anything can be a trigger. I know a person who has a phobia of flying birds and another friend who has nightmares if she watches movies with buildings on fire or burn victims. Still, a coworker is triggered by clowns. So, what subjects require trigger warnings? Recently, I’ve seen trigger warnings that list smoking, drug usage, animal cruelty, microaggression, colorism, child abandonment, scars, eating disorders, panic attacks, body shaming, bullying, extreme poverty, and more. The list of what could be triggering is endless. So, where do writers begin? How do they know when to write a warning?

The last point I want to make is that some research has shown that trigger warnings can have the opposite effect of preparing readers. These studies indicated that not only did the warning not prepare readers/viewers, but in some instances, made their experience worse by increasing their anxiety even higher with the expectation of the triggering event. Several years ago, a category 4 hurricane ripped through the area. Approximately three months later, weather forecasters began discussing an approaching cold front. They indicated that the front wouldn’t bring much rain but could have gusty winds. In fact, they amped up the possibility so much that schools and businesses decided to close. Daycares and after-school providers closed which meant some parents had to take off work. Of course, there were businesses that threatened to terminate employees who didn’t report to work due to weather and required a doctor’s excuse. But many doctors’ offices and clinics also chose to close. The weather reports caused a great many problems. And to top it off, when the front came through, there were a few gusts of wind around 30 mph (not anywhere close to 80 mph as predicted). However, residents were so traumatized by the hurricane that they panicked at overcast skies. This happened on more than one occasion, so much so, that government officials had to ask news reporters to dial back the sensationalism, to report the facts without the theatrics.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio