Wow! What a month. I hadn’t planned to take a month off from blogging, but here I am. I’m going to explain a situation that I think many people can relate to and where research has led me.
A couple of ago, I awoke feeling energetic and motivated. I was thrilled about this because the week prior I hadn’t been feeling my best. Strangely, I’d done something to pop my knee and was hobbling about rather pathetically. Plus, my allergies decided it was an opportune time to flare. The nine-to-five had been needlessly hectic and overly complicated. Mountains were being created out of ant hills. In all, everything had brewed itself into a mess of a week. The combination of these events dampened my spirits and caused me to want to lay up in bed to heal—especially my allergies. The headache was massive.
Well, all of that had begun to clear itself. I could again bear weight on my knee without shooting pain, and my allergies cleared to be non-debilitating. The situation at work resolved itself (not optimally but with a conclusion all the same). I wasn’t at 100%, but I was thankful to have 85% as opposed to the 3% that I had been. It was an improvement that allowed me to be functional and rejoin the world. Plus, I was ready to jump back into life. And so I did… for about four hours.
It is true what is said about taking things for granted. You don’t miss them or realize their importance until they are gone. This is a lesson that I never seem to quite learn. I say this because I’ve been in this position before and have uttered the same words. In all fairness, I do actively attempt to be grateful every day. Yet, it never fails to throw me for a loopy loop when I realize I just “expect” something to be there and am devastated when it isn’t.
At the end of the nine-to-five workday, I placed my laptop on sleep mode before making the commute home. I use my laptop for both business and pleasure. So, one of the first things I do, when I arrive at a destination, is to fire up the laptop to either check email, stream, work, or go on social media. I honestly do not think I’ve turned on a television or radio in over a year. This day was no different except my laptop would not wake up. Nothing. Just a blank screen. I couldn’t even hear the soft hum of the fan. I panicked. However, not all was lost. I still had my smartphone. Therefore, I did the only natural thing anyone in my situation would do. I performed an internet search to troubleshoot the problem.
I don’t remember how long I spent troubleshooting, but nothing worked. The laptop did eventually power on after I drained the battery and recharged it. I thought, “By golly, I’ve fixed it.” But this was a false positive. After approximately ten minutes, the screen turned blue and gave me an error message. The error message said that information was being gathered to correct the problem and would restart. Displayed on the screen was a percentage bar indicator for the scan. Finally, the percentage made it to 100%, and I waited and waited for the computer to restart. More than ten minutes of being idle passed and nothing. Perhaps, I was a bit impatient and should have given it another ten minutes, but I manually clicked restart. Big mistake. It did restart, but the screen remained blank and would do nothing. Taking a line from The Princess Bride, instead of being all dead it was mostly dead.
Being mostly dead wasn’t much of an improvement. I could do nothing, but I did have hope. At some point, I noticed that my Caps Lock button was blinking. After more Googling, I realized the blinking could be code for what was the issue. Thus, I threw on my Sherlock Holmes cap and got to detecting. I concluded that the issue stemmed from a RAM problem and that the laptop would need to be opened. That was a little too advanced for my blood. At that point, my heart sank and I gave up. I began searching for a repair shop, but my hope to find one wasn’t high.
My nine-to-five has an IT department, and some of the workers will take on side projects. I’ve had one of them work on my personal computers previously and for a really good rate. The problem was: it was a side gig for him. When it comes to side projects, he works at his leisure in his spare time. Also, he doesn’t have parts. Anything he needs, he must order from Amazon. He doesn’t have any distributors from whom he can acquire parts in an hour or two. The best he can do is request overnight shipping which most times cost an arm, leg, and a couple of vertebrae. I recognize that my impatience isn’t his fault, but basically, a good majority of my life is on my laptop. I was lost without it. I knew asking him to work on it would likely take weeks. Therefore, I opted to look for a repair shop.
Interestingly, what I discovered was most people would rather replace a computer than repair it. Cheaper. However, the thought of buying a new computer freaked me out—not just because they are expensive, but because I don’t remember any of my passwords. I open my laptop with a password, and everything else is remembered/stored. Fortunately, I located a repair shop and one that wouldn’t break the bank. Hands down, the repairer did an excellent and expedient job. I would recommend him to anyone. However, I had a gnawing in my stomach.
My laptop crashed on a Tuesday afternoon. I hadn’t completed or uploaded my blog when it occurred. And although I was able to back up my work on a flash, I didn’t have a way to work on it. There were a few tasks that I could do on my phone, but not without a struggle using such a small screen. So, even when I realized that I could have my laptop repaired, I knew I needed to have a backup way to work.
The local library does have computers available for the public to use, but certain sites and web pages are prohibited from viewing. USB flash drives and CD Roms (for people still using them) are not allowed to be used. Nothing, of course, can be saved to the library computer hard drives. And there’s a two-hour time limit. (An additional hour can be granted with special permission but basically, you have to explain your life away as to why this extra time is needed and be judged for it.) The computers are only a few feet apart, providing very little privacy for users. Plus, the library is only open five days a week with bank hours. Thus, anyone holding a nine-to-five and needing to work after 5:00 PM is S.O.L. The computers also are shut down thirty minutes before the library closes. If that wasn’t enough, there’s a limited number of computers (approximately 10 to 15), and usually, not all of them are working. It’s not uncommon to arrive and find that all of the computers are shut down. In short, using library computers is an entire ordeal, and unfortunately, there are no local computer cafes.
When my laptop crashed several years ago and my IT coworker took it for repairs, I was unable to work efficiently for weeks. I had to write/record everything by hand and then when my computer was returned, I had to transfer it all into electronic files. It was double the work, yet, it had to be done. The difference was back then, I was less dependent on my laptop and I had fewer projects. This time around, I bit the bullet even though I didn’t want to, and purchased a backup for emergencies and travel. It didn’t come without problems. When I began setting it up, I had to download software and figure out saved passwords. Even passwords that I was 100% certain about were being rejected, and some of the recovery information was so old I couldn’t recall. For some of it, I just gave up and don’t have it installed. All of this knocked all of the wind out of my sails.
Fast forward two weeks. I was just recovering and attempting to get caught up when I received a little surprise from my cell phone service provider. They thought it would be fun to force me to update my phone software. I’m not going to get into the ins and outs of this fiasco, but it ended with me having to get a new phone. And while the representative assured me everything from my old phone would transfer to the new phone and everything saved to the cloud was secure, this was not the case. I spent three hours on a Saturday morning having my phone info transferred, and still, I was missing a lot. Plus, the passwords went all stupid again. Mind you, I’d just changed everything for the new computer, so the new passwords were fresh in my mind. Now, I would chalk all of this up to maybe typos or my bad memory, but some passwords I share with family. And when I shared with them the “new” passwords, they responded with, “This is already the password.” So, it wasn’t me. And when passwords are reset, that meant I (and my family share passwords) were logged out of every device we used and needed to log back in. And wouldn’t you guess that this didn’t go smoothly?
That same day, I had a person (a very rude individual) step into my personal space without invitation and obligate me for something without giving me any advance notice or asking permission to do so. When I informed her that I was unavailable, she demanded to know what I had to do…like I needed to explain everything in my life to her. She saw absolutely nothing wrong with making plans on my behalf without consulting me. And when I called her on it for being rude and disrespectful, she attempted to gaslight me by insinuating that it was beneficial to me. Granted, that was true. However, she would have never done it if she wasn’t getting something out of it. It is like the person who helps you change a flat tire because they need a ride. Yes, your flat is repaired, but if they hadn’t wanted a lift somewhere, you could have been rolling around flat on all fours for all that they cared. But to the rest of the world, the person presents himself/herself as having done a good and selfless deed. Therefore, when I called this person out, she went into “victim” mode. She refused to take any responsibility or apologize. And of course, I was viewed by everyone she ran her mouth to as the ungrateful, bad-tempered, unreasonable bully for believing I have a right to determine my own schedule.
This unexpected drama drained the last remaining energy that I had. I allowed all of this too much rental space in my head, and it knocked me out for the count. For the next weeks, I accomplished nothing. I couldn’t become motivated, and when I did muster up some energy, I could not concentrate. I was a blob of unproductiveness.
Sometimes, we hit walls. We have days, weeks, and even months like this. However, I realized that I couldn’t remain in such a negative space, and the only person who could do something about it was me. I came to this realization after witnessing the person who had gotten into my space trucking along as if she’d done nothing. Explaining my side of anything was wasted. That was when a few things came to light about setbacks.
- Most setbacks are only temporary. All you need to do is wait them out.
- Being right (or perceived as being right by others) is not important. Some people will never admit fault or see the truth no matter how obvious. It is wasted energy to attempt to prove yourself to people whose opinions likely do not matter in the first place.
- Relationships change and can be outgrown. Someone who is close to you can let you down majorly. It’s a good reminder that no one is perfect. Some people will fall short, but it does not mean that they must hold you back.
- Your goals are your goals. At the end of the day, if you’re not working toward your goals, the person who will suffer is you. Old girl who was in my space didn’t lose a doggone thing. In fact, I doubt her feelings were hurt when I told her about herself because she was too busy standing on her pedestal feeling righteous. But she was achieving her goals. I was the person missing out.
- Everyone has setbacks. They are nothing new,
- Every setback comes with a lesson and a ton of options. One only needs to feel his/her way though. Take notes and learn from the experience.
- Your feelings are valid. Don’t allow anyone to invalidate you. You cannot achieve if filled with doubt.
- Develop a plan for future problems. For example, with the computer, I came purchased a backup laptop.
- Ask people that you trust for advice and guidance. They may have suggestions that never crossed your mind.
- Along the same line of thought, avoid people who do not have your best interest at heart. You may need to vent, but venting to a frenemy may make matters worse.
- Take time out to regroup. Don’t rush decisions when your mind is not in the correct, logical space. Count to 10, 20, 100, 1000. Go for a run. Go on a staycation. Just take the time you need to sort through your options.
- And speaking of options, make a list of every possible solution—even the ones that seem unlikely to work. Give yourself every alternative to tackle a situation. Know the pros and cons. Measure what you have to gain and what you stand to lose.
- Give yourself a break. Don’t continuously blame yourself for any mistakes you made or thought you made. Mistakes happen. Many can’t be undone, but you can move forward. Remember, shame, guilt, and blame are all paralyzing. None of them allow for any forward progress.
- Understand that you will begin feeling better once you start to reclaim your power. Self-pity is usually not satisfying for very long.
- Maintain perspective. Know what you are reasonably capable of. For example, if someone wanted to lose weight, it’s probably unreasonable to expect to lose 50 pounds in a month. However, losing five pounds a month may be durable. Understand what resources you have available and can use.
- There’s no rule that says you can’t change your goals or your plan to obtain your goals at any time. You do what works best for you.
So, that wraps up this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.
Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.
When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.
Order your copy at:
Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9
Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W
Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.
Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.
Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.
Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.
Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.
For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.
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Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.
Author Bio
Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm”, and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.
Creole Bayou 