How to Get Over an Ex

Breaking up may be hard, but the getting over is the most complicated part. What’s that I say? Splitting with a partner may be tough. Whether it’s finding the words to say to end things gently, blurting it out in a fit of rage and passion, or being on the suck end as a dumpee, none are pretty. But once the sentiments materialize into words, the deal is sealed and the declaration non-retractable. It is time to move on—the sooner, the better. It is after the showdown that the finality sinks in. The adrenaline of the moment drains, and all that remains is the deafening silence of the single life—that is unless one had a side piece the entire time which probably is the cause for the breakup in the first place. Oh, never mind. Anyway… Sure, it’s okay to be sad and heartbroken for a while, but moping around for weeks is pointless and will only serve to make matters worse.

Friends and family will offer the common solutions, and some of those are the more practical suggestions that the sane part of the newly singled already knows but does not want to hear. So, let’s get those out of the way first.

  1. Develop a new hobby (If you develop a new hobby, ensure that it’s something that you enjoy. Otherwise, signing up for anything may introduce another source of misery in your life.)
  2. Make new friends
  3. Go on a blind date (or any date)
  4. Join a dating website
  5. Go out with friends
  6. Go for walks and get lots of fresh air
  7. Retail therapy (This is actually a really good one, ladies. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday all rolled into one.)
  8. Get a new haircut/makeup (Hold up on this one. Making rash beauty decision in times of crises can lead to horrific results. Just saying.)
  9. Declutter and get rid of his/her photos and belongings (Just be sure not to toss the good stuff. Why toss off your favorite bottle of perfume/cologne or cut up your best shirt because your ex purchased it? If you want to, fine, but there is no rule that says you have to. You can continue to enjoy any positives that stemmed from the relationship. You may even want to keep some photo of the two as long as they are stashed deep, deep, deep in a closet. At some point in the future, you may want to reflect on some of the more positive times together.)
  10. Don’t have contact with the ex (No text, phone calls, chatting, stalking on social media, or booty calls)
  11. No ex booty calls (This deserves a line to itself.)
  12. No listening to depressing music (This will eliminate listening to most ballads. Sorry.)
  13. No watching the Hallmark Channel
  14. Go on a vacation
  15. Take up exercising
  16. Have a stiff drink or get smashed for the night (Just be sure to hand your phone over first. Drunk texting isn’t cute and will make a crapbowl even crappier.)

So after all of that, what’s left to do? Well, the important stuff. You is good. You is kind. You do this.

  1. Remind yourself you’re a good person despite your flaws and are worthy of being loved. You were a person of value before and during the relationship. You remain one after. Focus on your positive attributes and traits. Each morning, look in the mirror and say something positive aloud about yourself. You not only need to say the words, but you also need to hear them. Pep talking yourself will help rebuild or regain any self-esteem you may have lost.
  2. Remember that romantic love isn’t the only type of love that is valid or matters. Love from family is equally as important.
  3. Remind yourself that your ex dumped you because he/she has a small medulla oblongata, and it’s only a matter of time before someone else shows you their boobies. In other words, your ex was perfect. He/she made mistakes just like you. Each of you used a small piece of your mind to make poor decisions that lead to the denigration of a relationship. At the end of the day, it’s irrelevant who is at fault or who did what. It’s over. There will be others, and you will have learned and grown from the experience.
  4. One can not appreciate happiness without experiencing grief. The sadness from the split will subside, and when it does, there will be a renewed gratitude for joy. You will recognize blessings you’d forgotten or overlooked. So, give your sorrow and dejection an expiration date. Grant yourself no longer than a week to lie around in that dingy bathrobe and eat a tub of Neapolitan with crumbled potato chips sprinkles.
  5. Here’s a big one, especially if you’re the dumpee. Your ex has likely moved on. Accept it. You stagnating in memories is neither hindering his/her happiness or causing him/her to be equally as emotionally paralyzed. For example, opting not to attend a party you’ve been happily anticipating due to the possibility of the ex being there only later to learn after missing the part that he/she is on vacation in Hawaii with his/her new boo. So, you missed the party because you stocked too much effort in focusing on your ex instead of your happiness. No. Wear your best dress, slip into your most comfortable shoes, and call an UBER to get your butt to that party. Go. Have fun.
  6. Most couples go their separate ways due to one or both realizing something is wrong or missing in the relationship that is beyond repair. Why would anyone want to remain in a situation that is unhealthy or that whose partner is seeking escape? Would you want to be force someone to stay with you? If the roles were reversed, would you want to be forced to stay with someone? Be honest and realistic with yourself. A person cannot change how another person feels about him/her. One may try to influence an outcome, but any emotions come from with a person.
  7. Do talk about the breakup with someone you trust but use caution in what is said. Having a strong shoulder of a loved one to lean on during this time can ease the pain of getting through the situation. However, if there is any possibility of a reconciliation in the future, know that you will have spilled the worst aspects of your ex to family and friends. They will hold the hurt against him. And while you later may forgive, they may not. But talking helps because the feedback offered may be objective.
  8. Taking talking a step further, if there has been lots of trauma and drama in the relationship, consider talking to a professional. There is no shame in getting the help that one needs. Not getting help is the problem.
  9. Don’t waste time daydreaming or plotting revenge. It’s too much effort. That time and energy can be better spent on you.
  10. Be civil to those around you, even your ex. There are so many clichés that are appropriate here. Fake it until you make it. Kill them with kindness. Be the bigger person. Yes, all of those things you likely don’t want to do is exactly what you should. Listen, the relationship is over. There’s no reason to be a monster and make everyone else’s life hell. Karma is an entrepreneur. It doesn’t require a partner, sponsor, or facilitator to get the job done. And when karma comes a knocking, it will do more than you ever could. So, chill. You be you and do your own thing.

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou again. New posts are made on Wednesdays. Furthermore, my special series on Greek life, sororities, and everything parents or students wanting to join a sorority (or fraternity) should know is posted each Monday. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Enjoy sports romance? Check out my new adult romance, Defending the Net, released on November 10. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. It will be sold at Kindle, Apple Store, Nook, Kobo, !ndigo, Angus & Robertson, and Mondadori Store. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Order a copy now at www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Missed the first in my hockey romance series? Don’t worry. Out of the Penalty Box, an adult romance where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link to http://bit.ly/2CtE7Ez or to Amazon at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of all my books and stories are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed in my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my novels or stories.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Love vs Lust

I know the title of this post is Lust vs Love, but I must do a bit of housekeeping first. But I promise I will get to the topic.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate each of you so much and none of this would be possible without your support. I cannot say thank you enough for allowing me to have such an awesome week (and weeks) leading up to the release of my sports romance, Defending the Net, that follows the story of Brighton and Gatien, two hockey goalies who are competing for the starting position. DTN was released yesterday, and the reception has been great. If you missed the release, it is not too late to get in on the fun or order a copy. I will link the ordering information below. However, just because DTN is released does not mean that I am slowing down any.

For the last two weeks, I have been uploading bonus content to my blog by posting daily. The feedback has been great. I love hearing from you. Please continue to send emails and commenting on the posts. If you liked the bonus content, keep your eyes peeled. I may have something in store (*smiley face, wink, wink). I will give you a hint of what to expect, though. I will be expanding my blog to explore and discuss more themes and subjects while maintaining the favorites and sticking close to my roots. To make it easier for readers to follow their favorite topics/themes, I’ll be categorizing the days so that posts aren’t random. To be sure not to miss it, please follow this blog (Creole Bayou) and sign up for my newsletter. Also, if there are certain topics that you would like for me to address, give me a holler.

While I’m here, I should announce that I will not post my quarterly goals this quarter for several reasons. I began posting my goals so that I could publicly be held accountable for getting things done. It served as a great motivation for me not to be slacking. However, this quarter has been a lot different than other quarters. The most obvious reason why I am electing not to post the results is that my timetable is off. And when I say off, I mean off. When I first created my goals, I miscalculated the deadline. I started over and then I missed posting the outcome in a timely fashion.

Second, some of my goals were difficult to track. I didn’t hit my “target”, but I had neglected to include the prerequisites in my timeline. For example, one of my goals was to edit and rework one of my short stories. In order to do so, I had to do additional research. I had not anticipated how time-consuming the research would be. Once compiled, the time allotted for that edit had lapsed over into another area. Yes, I know that’s my own doing, and I accept responsibility for not anticipating better.

Third, I had some major projects going on. My “beast” is still ornery but is being tamed slowly. I have learned it has to marinate, at times, before continuing. I actually achieved my quarterly goal for this, but to do so, I had to set aside other projects.

Finally, I had a lot going on personally with family and prior obligations. It’s been a happy time but a lot of demands that required immediate attention. I have been spending a significant amount of time on the road.

So, that’s the housekeeping update. Now onto today’s post.

I’m a sucker for a good romance, but it is intriguing how so many “love stories” I read aren’t about love. It’s lust. It’s bothersome to begin investing in a “romance” novel when it is actually a “lust” novel. And I’m not speaking of erotica, which is a creature all on its own. With erotica, the focus is on sex. No, I mean stories where nothing is beyond skin deep. Attraction is important, yes. Sex can be important as well. But those two elements, isolated or combined, does not a romance make. In a romance, sex may be involved, but it is a sexual intimacy. In other words, more than just physical attraction and pleasure exists.

People are complicated. Emotions are complicated. Therefore, it stands to reason that love would be complicated. However, one has a basic understanding of what love is, it is not difficult to decipher between love and lust.

In a recent novel I was reading, the hero and the heroine couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. The mutual attraction was strong. However, after a while, I realized that the two did not like each other. Many couples in love bicker, but this was more than spousal/couple spats. The troupe of opposite attract was taken to a different level. There is nothing wrong with a couple having differences. In fact, they probably would be boring if they were clones of each other. But this couple had nothing in common. Every conversation was confrontational and a source of conflict. If they weren’t arguing, they were silent. Not even their core values were the same. There was scene after scene of what was supposed to be witty banter but gradually became harsh criticisms and belittlement of each other. Because of this, there was a lack of trust and openness. Yet, somehow, they always managed to fall into bed together. They demonstrated no signs of respecting each other, and apart from their occasional roll in the hay, they lived separate lives. Yet, this was billed as a romance/love story.

Love is intense emotions or feelings of caring and affection towards another person. People in love have deep meaningful conversations, even if they disagree. They share experiences and spend time together engaging in activities other than sex. Lust, on the other hand, is rooted in sexual desire or want for another person. As long as someone is getting their rocks off, nothing else matters.

The following are nine (because I couldn’t think of ten) differences between love and lust.

Love

  1. A desire to have deep meaningful conversations
  2. Focused on getting to know and understand the person
  3. Learning small, intimate details of a person’s life
  4. Attracted mainly to what the person thinks, values, and is interested in
  5. Enjoys listening to each other
  6. Being friends is important, values friendship
  7. Thinks of the other person first, is selfless
  8. Sees a whole person
  9. Says what the other person needs to hear

Lust

  1. Prefer not to have conversations or discuss feelings
  2. Focused on sex and/or a physical relationship
  3. Knows few to know small details or facts about the person
  4. Attracted mainly to physical appearance
  5. Enjoys engaging in activities together that do not require conversing
  6. Being friends is not important
  7. Thinks of self first, is egocentric
  8. Sees parts of a person
  9. Says what the other person wants to hear

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou again. New posts are made on Wednesdays. Furthermore, my special series on Greek life, sororities, and everything parents or students wanting to join a sorority (or fraternity) should know is posted each Monday. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Enjoy sports romance? Check out my new adult romance, Defending the Net, released on November 10. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. It will be sold at Kindle, Apple Store, Nook, Kobo, !ndigo, Angus & Robertson, and Mondadori Store. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Order a copy now at www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Missed the first in my hockey romance series? Don’t worry. Out of the Penalty Box, an adult romance where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link to http://bit.ly/2CtE7Ez or to Amazon at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of all my books and stories are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed in my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my novels or stories.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Defending the Net Released

It’s here! It’s finally here! YEAH! It’s the release of my sexy sports novel, Defending the Net, that follows the romance of goalies Brighton and Gatien. These bad boys of hockey bring back the term body-check. I am so excited and stoked that words can’t express it enough. I can barely believe it is happening. That means this day must be celebrated (as if I haven’t been celebrating the entire week).

Let me tell you. This week has been insane. I’ve had tons of tech issues. I was beginning to think my life was a remake of Maximum Overdrive with the way my electronics began taking a life of its on.

My email went all wonky, and important messages were being directed to spam. I have no idea when it started doing it, but I’m assuming it has been several weeks, maybe even months. If anyone emailed me within the last couple of weeks, I’m still going through all of it and am responding as fast as I can. Second, my blog cropped up weirdness and began posting at random time after the clocks were set back for the time change. First, it defaulted everything to noon. Later, I noticed some had reset to 9:00 AM. I’ve had to go in twice now to fix it back to 10:00 AM CST, but don’t be surprised if my post comes in at some other time.

Then, my Facebook page decided it didn’t want to allow me to post anything there. Nope, nothing. And then, when I finally managed to get it to upload and it was incorrect, it wouldn’t allow me to delete. I had to have others go into my page for me, and it even gave them problems. So, who knows. I guess the stars just lined up, and said, “Not today you won’t.” But, oh yes, I will because today, is the day. DTN is released, and I couldn’t be happier. Every mishap has not deterred it from happening, and I’m overjoyed to be sharing it with each of you.

Jumping right in with tons of info in this post.

BLOG

So, to recap, anyone following knows that I have been posting every day since October 28 with special posts leading up to the release. That has been tons of fun. Each has provided some type of insight or relates to DTN. Here’s a quick rundown of posts.

  • Love & Sociopaths (Halloween inspired and not at all demented and dark)
  • Kissing Smooch Smooch
  • Romantic Horrors (Another Halloween inspiration)
  • Real Talk About Your Characters Writing Tag (A fun way for writers to talk about their WIP and books. I used DTN characters to complete this tag.)
  • DTN: What’s That (A synopsis and background of DTN)
  • The Quick and Dirty Guide to Hockey (The rules of hockey explained)
  • An Interview with Myself (Answering FAQ about DTN and other matters)
  • Beer Facts (Cause hockey players drink beer)
  • Presenting the Sigma Male (Step aside alpha. There’s a new man in town.)
  • Saint Anne, Louisiana (All about the hometown of DTN)
  • Defending the Net Playlist (The music I frequently listened to or was inspired by while writing DTN)
  • Meet the Players (All about the characters of DTN)

All of these posts are on my blog. Also, let me remind everyone that my giveaways are still going happening.

CONTESTS

Contest #1

Today is the last day to win a free DVD from Hot Tree Publishing when you grab a copy of DTN. Visit their Facebook page for all the details. (Hot Tree Publishing Facebook)

Contest #2

Win a free signed copy of Out of the Penalty Box, my first hockey romance that was released earlier this year. All one has to do to enter the giveaway is:

  1. Follow this blog on Creole Bayou
  2. Like this post/leave a comment
  3. Join my Newsletter/Mailing list at https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/

BONUS ENTRY: For anyone who follows steps 1-3 AND preorders a copy of Defending the Net, your name will be entered twice for a chance to win. Just post a copy of your order receipt below or email it to genevivechamblee@yahoo.com

It’s that simple. A winner will be chosen at random. The giveaway ends 11/11/18 at 11:59 CST.

Contest #3

For a chance to win a free copy of DTN, post a picture of the DTN cover on Instagram and tag me in it so I’ll know it’s there. My Instagram is genevivechambleeauthor if you would like to leave me a message or comment on any posts. The giveaway ends 11/30/18 at 11:59 CST.

Or if you prefer, you can post a picture of the DTN cover on Twitter and tag me there. My twitter is @dolynesaidso. The giveaway ends 11/30/18 at 11:59 CST.

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WHERE TO PURCHASE

GR: https://www.goodreads.com/b…/show/41207644-defending-the-net

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2L8LWQn
All Links: books2read.com/defending

WHERE TO WRITE AND READ REVIEWS

I always love hearing from readers. If after reading you would like to tell others about the experience, I’m on both Amazon and Goodreads. I will list the links below. I appreciate honest reviews, so whatever you have to say, feel free to post it. Even if you decide you do not want to write a review, please consider stopping by Amazon, Goodreads, or both and giving it a star liking/ranking.

Amazon: www.amazon.com/author/genevivechamblee

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/16429845.Genevive_Chamblee

“I want to read DTN but…”

Here’s the tea.

A common question that I have been asked and have addressed but would like to address again is DTN’s relationship with my first sports novel, Out of the Penalty Box. I am frequently asked if DTN is a sequel. No, it is not. OotPB is the story of Aidan and Christophe. They make an appearance in DTN as do some of the other OotPB characters, but DTN is the story of Brighton and Gatien. DTN can be read as a standalone. However, OotPB is available for purchase as well. (Or if you participate in one of my contests, you may win a free copy of it.)

Another common question is one needs to have an in-depth knowledge about hockey to enjoy DTN. No. I do my best to explain any technical terms or rules within the story. But for those who want to know more prior to reading, I wrote a post (A Quick and Dirty Guide to Hockey) that covers this topic. But also remember, DTN is first and far most a romance.

Many of my characters speak French, Cajun French, or French Creole. Sometimes, readers have a concern that they will not be able to understand because they do not speak these languages. Know that I do my best to explain each foreign word/term either directly or with context clues. I also keep the usage of any of these languages to a minimum. Therefore, the story is easy to read and understand.

Some ARC readers have asked if the story of Brighton and Gatien will continue. It depends. If enough of you say that you would like to read more about them, then please let me know in either an email or comment on one of my social media platforms. I main goal is to entertain my readers. I have said it several times, without my readers, none of this would be possible. I cannot express my gratitude and appreciation enough.

Do you have time to read it? I’ve been informed by ARC readers that DTN goes by quickly because of the pacing. It’s also not 100 billion pages that will take months. Thus, if you’re pressed for time DTN may be a book for you.

You’re still not sure because it’s, “eh, just another romance”. With DTN, I try to go beyond typical romance and bring both drama and comedy. I want to do the unexpected and break stereotypic molds. My characters may not be typical or react as most. I also appreciate diversity. Hopefully, readers will find characters they can connect or relate. I like bringing giggles when least expected, too.

Yes, but is it sexy? Oh, yeah. DTN is steaming hot. Any hotter and the ice rink would be a sauna.

TWEETING ON TWITTER

Okay, so I guess that’s all I have for now. Today, I will be around for most of the day on Twitter. If you have questions or want to chat about DTN, my novels, or anything else, tweet me @dolynesaidso. Drop in and say hello.

Keep your eyes peeled for other adventures today. Who knows what I may have spring up later?

 

 

 

Meet the DTN Players

My sports romance novella, Defending the Net (DTN) is being released on 11/10/18. Today, I will be introducing the cast of DTN. Because this is a spoiler-free post, not all cast members will be introduced. The reason being is that I would be unable to effectively discuss any of them without giving away key plot points. I’ll begin the introductions with the MC and leading man, Brighton Rabalais.

Brighton Rabalais, or Bry as he is called by his closest friends, is a rookie goalie, newly recruited to the Saint Anne Civet hockey franchise. He’s a first-round draft pick with loads of talent and a humble heart. All he wants is to play hockey. His confidence is swayed, not by a lack of talent, but due to the politics behind his recruitment. It’s dirty. He’s there to undermine payment negotiations with veteran goalie, Gatien Glesseau.

Gatien Glesseau is a three-time national champion with good looks, great moves, and a bite every bit as severe as his growl. He’s able to turn on and off his emotions quicker than most blink. His goal (literally) is to be treated fairly, but he understands that’s a slim chance of happening with Brighton in the Brighton. Gatien is handsome, smart, and some years older than Brighton. However, that doesn’t mean he can’t learn things from his junior. It also means his Brighton is a real threat.

Next up is Semien Metoyér, the Civets center, and Brighton’s best friend since college. Semien is a type of enigma to the hockey stereotype with his mild-manner, clean-cut, and non-foul mouth. One might mistake him for a video gamer than a hockey player—though they’d be very wrong. Already in the national league, Semien is sure to have Brighton’s back.

Dylan is Brighton’s roommate and the antithesis of Brighton. While Brighton is quiet and humble, Dylan is boisterous and breaming with confidence to the point of arrogance. Not only is he the opposite in personality, but physically he’s much smaller—shorter, thinner, and not very strong.

Dr. Janesen is Brighton’s warmhearted, nurturing, down-to-earth physician. She tells it like it is. Although always professional, she cares deeply for Brighton as if he were a member of her family.

Christophe Fortenot is the team’s captain and might as well say, the welcoming committee. Team members follow Christophe’s lead. Therefore, having his acceptance is necessary and more important than the owners. Christophe is … well, Christophe. He has his own flare.

Finally, Nicco Bale is another veteran player. On the ice, Nicco adds power and muscle to the team. Off the ice, he’s a bit of a busybody and instigator. However, he means no harm, and characters tend to laugh when he around … sometimes. Nicco doesn’t take himself seriously, and that works for him. But he’s more complex than he seems.

And that’s it for the cast. Read about them all in DTN.

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou again. New posts are made on Wednesdays. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Enjoy sports romance? Check out my new adult romance, Defending the Net, being released in November. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Preorder at: https://books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Missed the first in my hockey romance series? Don’t worry. Out of the Penalty Box, an adult romance where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link to Amazon at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of all my books and stories are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed in my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my novels or stories.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click on Newsletter and signup today.

If you enjoy reading this blog, please share it with your friends and family. There’s never too many people in the bayou. Spread the word.

 

DTN Playlist

Frequently when I write, I listen to music. Not only does it block background noise to help me focus, it sometimes gives me motivation and invigorates my creativity. The following musical choices were songs that in my mind correspond to the scene I was writing at the time. Note, I’m not endorsing or receiving any monetary gains for mentioning the songs in this list. Additionally, this list is not an official soundtrack to Defending the Net (DTN). Instead, it is a comprised list of sounds that I listened to numerous times while writing DTN and have come to, in my mind, associate them with particular scenes.

Many writers and authors do this. When reading I often wonder what is going through an author’s head to inspire a scene. So, I thought it would be fun (and possibly scary) to share what was going through my mind. It also may give readers a sneak peek into the feel of DTN.

My playlist consists of music from diverse genres and different decades. What can I say? I’m eclectic. Some scenes were inspired by more than one song. In no way is this list an exhaustive list of the music I listened to while writing DTN, but these are the ones that stand out. I can’t even explain some reasons my mind made the links.

Chapter 1: Hells Bells – AC/DC. There’s no better way to get DTN started than with this song. The ringing bells have a feeling of impending dread and doom, yet, they continue to ring. I can envision Brighton entering the bar with a similar demeanor.

Chapter 2: Hate My Life – Theory of a Deadman. It’s sassy, a bit sarcastic, and amusingly self-pitying laced with a hint of anger. However, the mood is upbeat, and one can’t take it seriously.

Chapter 3: Here Now (Madness) – Hillsong. This song may seem an odd choice, but it’s a perfect fit. It’s a Christian song that expresses an inability to explain what is felt and a willingness to open one’s mind and heart to something beyond self and walk in faith. The instrumental gives a sense of floating. However, if one uses a secular interpretation of the lyrics, they easily express Brighton’s, the main character, mentality. He can’t explain his emotions and doubts his ears.

Chapter 4: Teas’n Pleas’n – Dangerous Minds. This song is upbeat, a little chaotic with changing moods like the characters, and pure fun. Nothing more needs to be said.

Chapter 5: Delicate – Taylor Swift.

Chapter 6: What’s My Age Again – Blink 182. It’s not so much the lyrics as it is the spirit that links the association in my mind.

Chapter 7: Take On Me – A-Ha. This just fits.

Chapter 8: Something Just Like This – Chainsmokers. I found myself always working on this chapter late at night, even during the editing. While it’s true, I’m a night owl and work on most stories after the sun has set, I frequently make the most of any spare time in the day to write as well. It never panned out that this scene I found spare time in the day. I don’t know what it is about this song but it seemed a fitting melody to segue the day to night. This is the reason for this association—that longing for wanting something simple and not asking much.

Chapter 9: Whatever It Takes – Imagine Dragon. Simply put: Brighton is a go-getter and following his dreams. This is why he is the hotshot rookie goalie for the Civets. Well … kinda.

Chapter 10: Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar and Let the Bodies Hit the Floor – Drowning Pool. Seriously, there can’t be a story about a contact sport without some songs about doing physical and mental damage. There are surges of adrenaline and defiance to succumb.

Chapter 11: Blow Me (One Last Kiss) – P!nk. This chapter definitely gives off the vibe, energy, and intensity of this song. Readers who read this chapter while listening to this song I think will quickly understand why I’ve associated the two.

This chapter is also inspired by Psycho – Post Malone Featuring Ty Dolla $ign. It’s very mellow. Mainly, this song speaks of trust.

Chapter 12: The Middle – Zedd, Maren Morris, & Grey. This entire song is a plea. It’s also a search for compromise and peace. These elements are common threads throughout DTN and really could be applied to multiple chapters. But I think I may have listened to it more in Chapter 12 than in any other chapter.

Chapter 13: Meant to Be – Bebe Rexha featuring Florida Georgia Line. This sparks inspiration.

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou again. New posts are made on Wednesdays. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Enjoy sports romance? Check out my new adult romance, Defending the Net, being released in November. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Preorder at: https://books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Missed the first in my hockey romance series? Don’t worry. Out of the Penalty Box, an adult romance where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link to Amazon at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of all my books and stories are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed in my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my novels or stories.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click on Newsletter and signup today.

If you enjoy reading this blog, please share it with your friends and family. There’s never too many people in the bayou. Spread the word.

Saint Anne, Louisiana

Several of my stories have taken place in Saint Anne, including Out of the Penalty Box (OotPB) and Defending the Net (DTN). Both OotPB and DTN follow the hockey team, the Saint Anne Civets. It is also home to the Saint Anne Hounds football team. Today, I thought I’d tell a little something about the city since it is a type of love story.

Saint Anne, Louisiana, founded in 1726 by the great step-nephew of Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville, Roche d’Iberville, and named after Saint Anne of David’s house, mother of Mary and grandmother of Jesus. It’s located in south Louisiana in western Jefferson Parish near New Orleans. At two feet below sea level, it has a population of 96,848 and diverse culture. Like New Orleans, it still has a working streetcar transit system, heavy French Creole and Cajun influence, and a layout based upon social economic status, with the most prominent neighborhoods being located closer to the city’s center. The predominant religion is Roman Catholic, and the city is filled with beautiful cathedrals and statues.

In 1722, a hurricane destroyed most of New Orleans. Roche, a heavy drinker and ferocious gambler, resided in the city and lost everything. On the brink of starvation and hunted by his debt collectors, Roche set out on a fishing expedition. Upon return, his boat ran aground in hostile Talwalka, a derelict subsect of the Coushatta Indians, territory. At first, the tribe was merely curious of the white fishermen. However, upon a search, they discovered Roche and his men had caught a pocket shark. Pocket sharks were held in veneration because they were thought to be sacred to Nerrivik, the god of the ocean. Catching one was believed to anger the gods and required a blood sacrifice for the offender. For this reason, Roche was taken back to the tribal site and sentenced to death. However, Hurit intervened to save his life.

Hurit was the daughter of Pelahat, the chief of the Talwalka. Having been a liaison between the Indians and white settlers along the Mississippi, Hurit successfully pleaded with her father to save Roche’s life. Her father granted her request but banished her from the tribe. Grateful and indebted for the gesture, Roche saw this as an opportunity to begin a new life. He quit gambling and drinking (for the most part), took Hurit as his bride, and moved to an area he claimed as Saint Anne.

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou again. New posts are made on Wednesdays. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Enjoy sports romance? Check out my new adult romance, Defending the Net, being released in November. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Preorder at: https://books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Missed the first in my hockey romance series? Don’t worry. Out of the Penalty Box, an adult romance where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link to Amazon at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of all my books and stories are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed in my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my novels or stories.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click on Newsletter and signup today.

If you enjoy reading this blog, please share it with your friends and family. There’s never too many people in the bayou. Spread the word.

Presenting the Sigma Male

Most everyone has heard of Alpha males, and the majority of romance novels feature Alpha males as the hero. For those who don’t know, an Alpha male is the head/slash leader. He is superior to other males in nearly every aspect (e.g., strength, charm, looks, health, athletic skills, wealth, and sexual confidence). The problem with Alpha males in many romances is that they are written like arrogant jerks who everyone cowards. To me, they come across as being over-the-top, unrealistic, entitled, one-note cardboard characters.

Take for example, Alpha Joe. Joe is an ex-navy seal. His father died when he was in high school, and Joe became the man of the house, taking care of his mother and younger siblings. He has dark hair, dreamy eyes, and a 24-pack abdomen because 6 just wasn’t enough. Women swoon from his cologne and their panties saturate at his wink. He is founder and CEO of a successful, private security business and has all the right connections in town.

Everyone knows Joe and his reputation proceeds him. Anywhere he goes, men fear his temper and are careful not to anger him. A verbal reprimand or a stern glance causes others to quake. Other men either are vying to be his ride or die bro or despise him out of jealousy. A gray area does not exist. If Joe gets into a fight, he wins—usually hands down with not much effort. If he gets injured during it, he carries on as if nothing happened or has a speedy recovery time despite the seriousness the injury. He’s courageous, tough, fearless, commanding, and demanding in all that he does, and he always gets his way.

Enters Jane, the petite beauty who weighs nothing and is gorgeous without a stitch of makeup. She probably comes up to Joe’s elbow, which makes her very easy for him to scoop up if he needed to—and he will.

Now Jane is either going to be spitfire whose mouth writes checks her butt truly can’t cash or very timid, meek, and innocent. It doesn’t matter which one because she’ll need “rescuing” by Joe. She may be willing to accept his help and follow his every word or so inept that she digs her own hole into a crater. In either instance, she is attracted to Joe, the demigod who only has eyes for her.

The thing about Joe is, he has a dark side that stems from his past. He might suffer from nightmares or restlessness. Anger rages inside of him, but he’s stoic and never communicates his feelings, which causes him to be emotionally unavailable and aloof to women. His brooding is seen as “sexy” and mysterious, and his jerkish (e.g., aggressive, sexist, self-centered, controlling, and difficult) behavior “excused”. But Jane just with a touch, gaze, or romp in the sheets can cure Joe’s PTSD without the need for years of professional therapy.

I hated characters like Joe (and Jane, too, to be honest). These types of Joes were 1-D Alphas (and the D didn’t necessarily stand for “dimensional”). But as a woman, I wanted to read about a strong male lead. Stage left: Sigma male.

Not many people discuss Sigmas (or any other types) in the role of male Greek-letter archetypes, but they should. So, what are the other male archetypes? Well…

After alpha comes Beta. Betas follow orders, non-assertive, and present no serious threat to Alphas. They don’t make waves, are mostly docile, easily kept in line, and help maintain peace and order. They are responsible, likable, and considerate. When an Alpha isn’t around, Betas hold down the fort, but they won’t ever challenge an Alpha for the position.

The best way to describe Gamma males are they exist. For the most part, they are irrelevant. They hang back and no nothing, seek nothing, and offer nothing. This is the character that gets edited out of the book before the final copy. However, Gammas shouldn’t be overlooked. His go-with-the-flow personality easily can slide into villain territory since they often are motivated by personal gain and not noted to be the most trustworthy.

Delta males are rarely seen in extended scenes in romances. That is because Deltas are average and normal. They don’t have enough magnetism or allure to be leading men, but they are sometimes necessary to communicate important information to move the plot forward. They are smart, insightful, friendly, open-minded, and frequently helpful when asked.

Next are Zetas. (If you’re wondering the order, I’m listing them alphabetically—Greek.)  Zetas are unconventional and don’t give a hoot about societal definitions or expectations of what a man should or should not be. They march to the beat of their own drums and do not seek social acceptance. Zetas are indifferent to seeking relationships with women. They are comfortable being alone, and for this reason, are never the heroes in romance novels.

At the bottom of the food chain, one finds Omegas. There’s no nice way to say it, but Omegas are the oddballs and freaks. Sometimes, they are the villains while other times they simply add the weirdo factor—the creepy guy who peers from behind the blinds and one wonder what (or who) he has hidden in the basement. Omegas define themselves by the world around them. The problem is, they are social outcasts, lack ambition, and irresponsible.

Alphas have a need to be “top”. When they don’t get their way, there’s a problem, usually resolved with fists flying. But Sigma males march to their own beat. They can be leaders or blend in flawlessly like a MAC concealer. (Yes, I did just plug them because I love their products, and no they are in no way sponsoring this post.) Sigmas are like chilling co-pilots. Just because they roll with the punches on trivial matters doesn’t mean they put up with bull or act like doormats. On the contrary, they handle business when needed. They are the nice guys with a witty sense of humor and are equally as handsome and sexually sensational as Alphas. They are flawed, but they manage to suppress being a jackass.

One of the best ways for me to stop a Sigma was usually if I was more interested in a minor male character than the hero–that is until the author decided to write a sequel with the Sigma as the lead and transformed into another run-of-the-mill butthole Alphas. But before that happened, the Sigma often was written as a good, non-threatening friend to the Alpha. Non-threatening, as in, the Sigma not being interested in Jane and fighting for a common goal as the Alpha. But the Alpha is wise enough not to cross a Sigma because he knows just beneath the surface lies a lion who will pounce.

Sigmas don’t seek trouble or bother with defining themselves by traditional stereotypes. They show up at the party with a case of beer and say, “okay, where do you want this?” when they don’t even drink. And usually, Sigma have lots of small flaws that make them relatable instead of one massive one. They may show insecurities or weaknesses, but they aren’t crippled by them. They may be less “mysterious”, but that’s because they don’t have anything to hide. Their histories usually aren’t as bleak, and they may have a ho-hum background.

What makes Sigmas so much fun is that they can be unpredictable. Their personalities are big and complex. They aren’t afraid to show emotion or vulnerability because they know they can handle them. They don’t feel compelled to be the center of attention because they understand a quarterback can’t win a football game without the rest of the team. They are okay without trophies and praises because their self-worth is sufficient. They show their love for others without being overbearing or domineering. And sometimes, they let the woman take the lead.

However, the best part about Sigmas is they don’t get caught up in stupid love triangles. They aren’t going to stick around while Jane makes up her mind or pound on their chest to get her attention. She either hops on his party train or he’s going to the next station. His baggage is low, so, he can move swiftly. Bye gurl!

When writing, my heroes, although sometimes described as Alphas, are really Sigmas. They laugh and doubt themselves at times. Sometimes, they are the ones who are writing those ISF checks and must discover a solution. I especially enjoy writing them in my MMRomances.

There is a tendency to stereotype gay male relationships as one partner having to be “the wife” or one being Alpha and the other being Beta. Heaven forbid they both be equal. These stereotypes need to be changed.

Sigmas are team players who fulfill whatever role is needed at the time, whether it be top, middle, bottom, or alone. Sigmas are there to get the job done, period. Unlike Alphas, Sigmas may not always have a solution or muck it up. But they have the ability to laugh it off and the flexibility to collaborate. While Alphas frequently go in with guns blazing, Sigmas may hang back to see how something plays out. A Sigma may have failures, but they are comfortable enough to exit their comfort zone or accept input. They use constructive criticism to grow.

Want to see Sigma, Alpha, and Beta males in action? They can be found skating about in my new adult sports romance, Defending the Net, being released on November 10 and will be sold at Kindle, Apple Store, Nook, Kobo, !ndigo, Angus & Robertson, and Mondadori Store. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Preorder a copy now at www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou again. New posts are made on Wednesdays. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Missed the first in my hockey romance series? Don’t worry. Out of the Penalty Box, an adult romance where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link to http://bit.ly/2CtE7Ez or to Amazon at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of all my books and stories are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed in my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my novels or stories.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click Newsletter and signup today.