How to Handle Advice

Greetings from the Bayou. Today’s post I’ll try to reel it in and not keep it so all over the place because so much has happened. I want to start by thanking everyone for being with me doing my thirty days of daily blogging in celebration of the release of Ice Gladiators, the third book of my Locker Room Love gay romance standalone sports series. Whew! What a mouthful. What’s not difficult to say at all is thank you. Thank you. Thank you Thank you. Thank you for all the love and support that was shown to me. I can’t say it enough.

If you missed any of my posts, don’t worry, they are all available on here on Creole Bayou. The topic posts include coping with loss, coping with depression, dealing with rejection, confidence issues, lichen plantus/ what it is and how to treat, author interviews, writing tips, romance troupes, music, writing sports romance advice, reading and writing book reviews, Louisiana trivia, speakeasies, winning, tailgating, buying wine, making cocktails, party appetizers, hockey superstitions, the characters and cities featured in Ice Gladiators, and much more.

Second, I want to remind everyone of the gift card giveaway that is happening. For details and to enter, visit here: bit.ly/2wd0E6Z. And other goody giveaways are happening soon, too. Keep posted.

Now, for the meat and potatoes of today’s post. Let’s have what the old’ folks call a good ol’ chitty-dee-chat. In 2020, I didn’t make a single resolution for the New Year. I thought, what was the point? I mean, I make them, and I break them. Sure, a few I keep—very few—but many are insignificant or ones that would occur organically anyway. Then, others, around the middle of December, I remember and scurry to fulfill. In the large scheme of things, I don’t think I’m that different than many other people getting all wrapped up in the excitement of the holidays, being off from work, and yes, let’s talk about the hippo in the room, the pouring glasses of champagne and booze at the New Year’s party. We feel all festive, energetic, and hopeful. Then, two weeks after returning to the day job, we start realizing that we dragged the crap we swore to leave in the previous year into the new year. That ten extra pounds we gained from grandma’s Thanksgiving stuffing and mama’s Christmas gingerbread cake is just going to stay there, despite us signing up for the gym discounted membership we purchased.

Granted, this isn’t ALL people. It may not even be most people. But it is a lot of people, and I know for a fact it’s me. So, two months into the new year, it’s time for me to get a grip. The holiday glitter has been washed for my eyes, and I’m seeing reality through my prescription glasses and not rose-colored ones. Yet, this just a personal testimony. This is something I think is important for many people to hear.

Now, it’s time to set some resolutions. At the stroke of midnight on January 1, many people swear they are going to change things. They are going to do this and stop doing that. Well, the one resolution most people need to make is throwing away bad advice. There, I said it.

Many of us cling onto advice that we’re given by the people we love and trust. We have a problem; so, we go to a dear friend. Sometimes, the advice comes unsolicited. We end up with tons of information. The problem is that some of that information isn’t always so great for us. In fact, it’s actually pretty toxic. However, we follow it anyway because at that point we’re really desperate—desperate for change, desperate for solutions, desperate to have something to work. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have asked for advice in the first place. Yet, what works for someone else may not work for you. Still, we cling to it like it is the absolute gospel. For some reason, we feel compelled to do it because we were told to do it and other people have been successful using it. But the truth is bad advice needs and belongs in the garbage. Period!

It is in most people’s nature to be appreciative of advice, even when it’s at first annoying. There’s always that nagging feeling lingering in some crevasse of brain folds that the advice may work. Of course, some advice is delivered with harmful intentions. I think most people feel in their gut when the advisor is being devious or ulterior or clandestine motives are lurking beneath the surface. Depending on the person and situation, sometimes we just want to believe in people and overlook these warning signs or ignore what is obvious to everyone else. If an advisee willing turns a blind eye and negative consequences follow, the responsibility falls on the advisee. After all, when handling a snake there’s a possibility of being bitten. Some snakes are poisonous; thus, some outcomes may be direr than others.

When a person’s eyes are opened, acknowledge that not all advice is good advice. Learn to trust in yourself. But it’s not enough just to trust in self. Act on that trust. There have been plenty of times when I said I knew something would occur and was not shocked when those events came to fruition. However, instead of being proactive and capitalizing on the situation to my advantage, I passively watched events unfold. Additionally, do not feel obligated or so desperate to follow any advice that just does not feel right. Following bad advice is something the advisee has to live with and accept the consequences. The person giving advice will not have to live with those decisions (mostly–unless they give some really godawful advice that they should feel guilty about.) Most times, the person who gives the advice forgets that they even gave it, and look at the person who followed if upside the head all crazy for following it in the first place. Or they blow it off by saying, “Oh, I wasn’t really serious.” Well, yeah you were, but because it does not affect you, you’re not truly bothered by the outcome. Do yourself a favor, tune those people out. Sitting here today, my spirit moved and I felt someone, other than myself, needed to hear this.

Have you ever felt obligated to follow or adhere to the advice that didn’t sit well with you? What happened? I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comment section.

IG GC AN

Taz has problems: a stalled career, a coach threatening to destroy him, a meddling matchmaking roommate, and a thing for his other roommate’s boyfriend. The first three are manageable, but the last… well, that’s complicated. Because as much as Taz is attempting not to notice Liam, Liam is noticing him.

Enjoy sports romance and athletic bad boys? Check out my adult romance, Defending the Net. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. It is sold at Kindle, Apple Store, Nook, Kobo, !ndigo, Angus & Robertson, and Mondadori Store. DTN is the second in my gay sports romance novel series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Order a copy now at www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Missed the first book in my sports romance series? No frets. Out of the Penalty Box, where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime, out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. Visit www.books2read.com/penalty.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy about what could go wrong on vacation, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link to http://bit.ly/2CtE7Ez or to Amazon at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of my romance short stories, anthologies, books, and novels are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed on my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my stories or novels.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou. New posts are made on Wednesdays, where no Creole, Cajun, or Louisiana topic is left unscathed. Plus, get how-to self-help tips, how to writing tips, and keeping the romance alive and fresh suggestions. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Finally, take the fear out of rush/pledging. If you or anyone you know are interested in joining a college Greek life organization, check out my special series posted each Monday for everything you wanted (and didn’t want) to know about college fraternities and sororities. In these posts, you will find information about both formal and informal recruitment for both NPC and NPHC organizations. Don’t know what NPC and NPHC are? No problem. It’s all explained in this series. This series also provides loads of information for parents who are unfamiliar with the processes, what is expected of parents, and how to be supportive. Visit Sorority Bible Table of Contents to view any or all of these posts.

Resources:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s